Game Review: Trump on the Run (Mobile – Free to Play)

Back in February someone came up with a game that saw you controlling an American bald eagle past obstacles in a clear rip-off of Flappy Bird. Clear a set amount of obstacles & you’d get to drop turds on Donald Trump turning him into a massive turd. That was your game, it was absolutely awful yet it got rave reviews & big coverage as many playing believed they were in some way sticking it to the potential US presidential candidate.

You can read a review of that game here.

No seriously…people actually believed that he had said he would quit the presidential race if the game was downloaded enough times. I got into a bit of back & forth when asking for proof as I could find nothing on the internet that suggested he even knew the game existed.

The truth is that it was a clear marketing ploy by those involved with 5 star reviews encouraged on the iOS app store based on people’s feelings for the man rather than the quality of the game.

Well, here we are again as another ‘developer’ (I use that word very loosely here) tries to cash in on the Trumps popularity, or unpopularity with Trump on the Run.

A free to play, endless runner the very first thing you get as the game starts is a pop-up ad. Seriously, before you even see the main menu you get a god-damn pop-up advert.

Once you start the game the premise is very simple. You control a pixelated Donald Trump who is in Mexico running down a road. I know he is in Mexico because of the cacti that litter the surroundings, the tacos that he has to collect & the sombreros he has to jump over. I shit you not.

The sombreros aren’t the only obstacles that the floppy haired one has to deal with though, oh no. He also has to jump over walls, which I guess is to signify his suggestion that he would build a wall between America & Mexico.

Hilarious, right?

Gameplay is like any other endless runner…make it as far as you can & set a high score.

Well that is a bit of a problem here as Trump on the Run has some of the worst controls I’ve seen on a mobile game to date. All they had to do is programme jumping & they didn’t even do that right. Obstacles come thick & fast but the only way to safely make it past the walls is to wait until you’re almost on top of them before hitting jump. Jump to early & you’ll somehow hit the wall as you land on the other side.

Jumps you’re sure you should be able to make always fail, you have to wait until his legs are pretty much touching the damn wall!

It makes it nigh on impossible to progress far into the game as walls often come in threes meaning you’ve got to have razor sharp reactions. Hardly a game that you’ll be able to play on the move.

So with that in mind this game is pointless…it doesn’t work & is about as much fun as a trip to the dentist who also happens to be a bit of a sadist.

Every couple of runs an ad will pop up, these are incredibly frequent & some un-skippable. Those that argue that it’s free to play so the ‘developers’ don’t actually make any money would be wise to play attention here…ad revenue. These people are going to be doing very well just based off the amount of ads that pop up!

Oh but of course you could pay to have ads removed. £1.49 right? That’s the usual price for the removal of ads from a free to play game. Nope, these cheeky bastards have the audacity to charge £2.29 to remove ads. Let me put that into perspective for you…the excellent, lengthy & fun game, Plants vs. Zombies costs 79p.

…and of course, Plants vs. Zombies actually works.

Normally I wouldn’t worry too much about the reviews the game is receiving on the iOS app store but I just want to share a few snippets with you here, just to show you how stupid people can be. Currently the game as an overall rating of 3 and a half stars with just over 100 reviews written. 3 and a half stars for a game that doesn’t even work properly…it just boggles the mind.

(The grammer & spelling errors that follow are not mine – I’ve literally copied these directly as they are written).

5 Star Rating – Great game great game I don’t know why People hate trump so much and claim he’s racist he’s not as near as extreme as King Salaman. – Howie68938 (There is more but it rambles on about racism, a review that clearly was about rating the actual game & not just expressing their political & personal opinion).

5 Star Rating – Play it all the time – Ryanb1106 (I’m calling bullshit on you, Ryan).

3 Star Rating – It’s an alright game, but I can’t tell if this game is supporting him or satirising him (I presume the latter or else I wouldn’t be playing) – SenojDraddots (Wait, so you’re only playing it because you thinks it’s satirising him!? What the hell is wrong with you!?).

1 Star Rating – Just Awful stop trying to become president it will never happen! – Tomma Luke (While I’m glad to see the 1 star rating it seems as though you gave it that more because you don’t like Trump, you are aware he didn’t make this game?).

5 Star Rating – Absolutely Amazing – MIGHTMO29 (Are you on the development team? Shit, even if you are, you can’t really think it’s absolutely amazing).

I’ll end with my favourite one:

5 Star Rating – Don’t get it it’s mint – Marcus is Cool (*Slow applause*).

It’s one thing is to jump obstacles & it’s near impossible to do so. An absolute joke & just another horrible example of how anyone can make a ‘game’ & earn money off the ads. Avoid, Trump wouldn’t give a fuck either way.