Top 10 Things That Should Happen At E3 2015


Doesn’t this come around quick…?

So what would we like to see? Like last year this top 10 is going to have a tongue in cheek kind of feel to it. Bear in mind we are predominately Xbox users, iOS users & Nintendo handheld console users. Enjoy…

(This year we all here at GBHBL have contributed to this top 10).

10 – Microsoft revives Kinect!

Kinect 3.0

Last year I was calling for Kinect to fight back against all those who poke fun at it. Since then Microsoft have all but buried the £100+ all seeing & all listening brick. Imagine the shock & awe from the audience as Microsoft announces that not only is Kinect back with Kinect 3.0 (now it answers) but all future Microsoft releases will have to utilise it in some way or face being barred from the Xbox One!

To show just how serious they are they can also announce a whole raft of great games to accompany the new Kinect. Games such as Kickboxer, Just Get in Shape 2 & Star Wars: The Force Awakens Dance-Off (to tie in with the upcoming movie).

9 – The new Xbox one: hardcore gamer version!

Hardcore Gamer

Allowing no other discs to be played on it other than Call of Duty or Battlefield marked ones, the all new Xbox for the hardcore gamer will literally spit any other disc out in disgust. Optimised for multiplayer, new messages will pop up and insult you if you play either games single player for more than 10 minutes. New features include an online insult thesaurus and the ability to separate your hardcore friends from the others on the list. The hardcore gamer console not only doesn’t come with a Kinect, it also has no Kinect port. Stand aside N00BS, this is not for you.

8 – Lots & lots of sequels

Viva Pinata

A new Viva Piñata game, the next Rayman game, Red Dead Redemption 2, Dishonored 2, Dead Space 4, Deadly Premonition 2, Brutal Legend 2, Beyond Good And Evil 2…these are just a few that we would like to see turn up!

7 – Handheld/Apple collaboration

Apple Logo

Ok, we’re not likely to ever get a handheld Microsoft console on par with what Nintendo offer but I would love to see them collaborate with one of the biggest companies in the world, Apple & make their operating system more achievement/Xbox friendly. Apps, games & more…

6 – Modern Remakes/Re-releases!

Battletoads

With a lot of people kind of expecting Battletoads to be announced at E3 it got us thinking about what games we’d like to see remade or updated & re-released….Timesplitters 2, Secret of Mana, Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy 6, 7, 8 & 9, Silent Hill, Resident Evil 2 & 3, Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem, The Legacy of Kain Series, The rest of the Broken Sword game series, the Discworld game series, Donkey Kong Country 1, 2 & 3, Panzer Dragoon Saga, Shenmue…to name a few.

5 – Tropico 5: The Nigel Farage Story

Nigel

Taking control of an ambitious young bigot, you will do everything in your power to garner the support of the population to assist your rise to power. Build and run cities, add border controls and set laws around sexuality you will single handedly take on powerful groups in other political parties such as the terrible group known only as the EU, a group of rich elites, a group of rich elites who pretend to be normal and a group of rich elites who pretend to like trees. It won’t be easy though. People will change sexuality causing floods and foreigners will try to break in and work in hospitals somehow putting builders out of jobs and thus hampering your people’s future. Can you become the saviour your people need?

4 – The death of the single player.

Sinlge PLayer

In a shocking turn of events that one industry insider confirmed is for the best…the singe player game will cease to exist early next year. The belief is that consumers just don’t enjoy playing through a story-driven narrative that removes them from reality temporarily but would rather play with people around the world who scream & shout down mics & remind the player regularly that they are gay or that they fucked their mums.

In the future, games such as The Evil Within’s sequel will instead see 4 player co-op being deployed. Elder Scrolls will become a Quake style arena shooter & Battlefield/Call of Duty will….continue as normal.

3 – Microsoft online digital resale

MS

After digitally buying a game, once you are done with it you can upload your game on to this new Microsoft resell site where other gamers can view it and bid on it, similar to an auction site. Once the game is sold, your receive funds into your registered account and the game is instantly deleted from your Xbox. If you wanted to play it again, you would need to purchase it again. Microsoft take 1% of all sale values as funding to run the program effectively bringing the pre-owned market to the digital world.

2 – Embrace the digital age.

E3 Crowds

The biggest announcement of E3 can come from all game companies in a single glorious moment of sensible behaviour. Imagine the stage…imagine the moment as the head Microsoft, Sony & Nintendo all stand together to announce that they will stop charging stupid prices for digital games that aren’t part of sale. Finally reflecting on the fact that a game released digitally shouldn’t cost the same or often more than a physical copy.

Tears of joy run down the faces of all 3 major company leaders as they reflect on just how stupid they’ve been in not actively encouraging a move towards digital titles. Microsoft laughs as they remember a time when they implied it was the consumers fault for not embracing a more digital future even though their current pricing for Advanced Warfare online stands at £50 yet can be bought in store for less than £30.

Nintendo shyly giggles that maybe they are wrong for still charging £40 for a digital copy of Majora’s Mask 3D while a special edition physical copy with packed extras was released in store for £45.

Sony would say something but PS Plus just got hacked again…

1 – Half-Life 3…

Half-Life 3 concept

Lol.

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