The Definitive Ranking Of The Worst Reviewed Movies On GBHBL

We’ve written a lot of horror movie reviews. A lot of horror to talk about and critique. A lot of horror to assign an arbitrary score to.

We consider ourselves decent judges of horror. Although our opinions are no more valid than yours, the wealth of horror we have seen has meant that when we think something is bad, we believe we know what we’re talking about.

With a rating system out of 10, it’s no surprise that many, many of the movies we have reviewed sit in the lower half of that number. Many terrible horror movies have been given scores of 2/10 or 1/10 with our insistence that you avoid them like the plague.

We rarely give out 0/10 scores because no matter how bad a movie can be, often there might be 1 or 2 redeeming qualities. Some small segment, a line of dialogue, a decent bit gore, a funny moment etc that lifts it momentarily.

…but there are some. A unique collection of movies that we thought were the dirt-worst. Horror movies that had no redeeming qualities and should be thrown into the nearest skip-fire. We don’t give a 0/10 out readily and to date, we’ve only judged 24 movies as a 0/10. What are they? Read on. Unlike all our other definitive rankings, there is no ‘what we’d prefer to watch again’ order. All these movies are unwatchable so we’ve ranked them alphabetically.

Amityville: Mt Misery Road (2018)

To the surprise of absolutely no-one this movie has nothing to do with the horror that begun the franchise. The only link is the road in question happens to be in Long Island, New York. This is not an Amityville movie and it would be better off dropping it from the title.

Or at least it would be if we got a semi-decent film but no, Amityville: Mt Misery Road is a horrendous watch. Horrible acting, shockingly poor dialogue, painfully boring and about as scary as Dora the Explorer.

You can read our full review here.

Amityville: Vanishing Point (2016)

Made on a budget of $1000, Amityville: Vanishing Point isn’t just the worst movie in the franchise/series so far but has the proud honour of being one of the worst movies ever made. For starters, finding a copy of this trash to watch is very difficult. Secondly after all the effort put in trying to find it, it’s gonna end up feeling like self-flagellation.

Up to this point there have been some bad Amityville movies. Many that just tack on the Amityville name as if there is some honour there. Amityville: Vanishing Point is one such movie having absolutely nothing to do with 112 Ocean Avenue or any of the events that occurred there, real or fake. It tries to play the whole ‘possession’ card but does it in the most contrived & tired way possible.

The movie plays out like a joke film made by college students. The plot is an incoherent mess thanks to terrible editing & even worse pacing. It’s a mind-numbing bore that confuses to the point where you just want to switch it off.

You can read our full review here.

Beaster Bunny (2014)

This is a movie that has to be seen to be believed. It’s simply stunning just how terrible a movie it is. I don’t mean Beaster Bunny (originally known as Beaster Day: Here Comes Peter Cottonhell) is a ‘so bad, it’s good’ movie. No, I mean it’s just a terrible movie.

The ‘plot’ focuses on a small town that is invaded by a 50 foot bunny. This bunny walks on its hind legs all the time because it’s clearly a marionette puppet in front of a green screen. The first time it appears you’ll feel instantly dupped.

A nonsensical story, terrible acting, the worst CGI imaginable & a monster that…words just can’t describe it. You’ll be asking everyone afterwards…why? You’ll be walking up to random strangers on the street with your cold, dead eyes begging to know how such a travesty could ever be released.

You can read our full review here.

Bloody Wednesday (1987)

Directed by Mark G. Gilhuis and written by Philip Yordan, Bloody Wednesday is a thriller/horror based on the events of the San Ysidro McDonald’s massacre.

What we have is poorly shot, poorly acted rip-off of The Shining and then we reach the finale and things get real. Far too real.

A horrible ending for a horrible movie. The acting is awful, the sound is awful and it’s shot so poorly it’s like something has been smeared over the camera lenses. Sure, it’s an 80’s film but that doesn’t excuse so many lacklustre elements. Combine it all together and what we have here is a horror/thriller that really isn’t worth anyone’s time.

You can read our full review here.

Camp Blood (1999)

Writer/Director Brad Sykes manages to evoke a range of emotions in Camp Blood. You’ll feel boredom, frustration, annoyance, confusion and sadness. The latter because you’ve wasted your time watching the film when you could have been stabbing a fork into your hand instead.

What an absolute mess of movie this is. Not so much as a chore to watch but absolute torture. Everything is bad. The cinematography is horrendous, the sound is terrible, the effects are hilariously bad and the ‘twist’ ending makes no sense.

You can read our full review here.

Feeders (1996)

Don’t let anyone tell you this is a ‘so bad it’s good’ horror because it’s not. Amateurish doesn’t cut it either. Feeders is just a badly directed, badly shot, badly acted mess with even worse effects.

Maybe some will get a laugh out of just how bad it is but most will have real remorse for wasting their time on it. The ‘plot’ sees sock puppet aliens arriving in flying saucers and eating the locals in some backwoods town and the local woods.

You can read our full review here.

Feeders 2: Slay Bells (1998)

It shouldn’t have taken much at all to improve upon the original Feeders but in an unsurprising turn of events Feeders 2 is just as bad. In fact, it might be worse purely because it reuses scenes from Night Crawlers. Something most wouldn’t notice unless you’ve watched the movies within a short time frame.

Attempting to tie in a Christmas theme has done nothing to make this anymore enjoyable. Even when a badly dressed Santa decides to start firing laser guns for the finale it can’t save this utter trash.

The best thing, the absolute best thing about Feeders 2: Slay Bells is that it only lasts 68 minutes.

You can read our full review here.

House of Evil (2017)

House of Evil is a terrible rip-off of far better movies like The Amityville Horror & Rosemary’s Baby. It offers nothing new, nothing interesting or fresh within the horror genre. In fact, it’s so lazy & insipid that it’s near offensive. Devoid of any entertaining moments, the plot is embarrassingly basic with massive jumps in time & perceived issues that you never actually see.

None of that would really matter though if the movie had at least some semblance of scares but it fails miserably at that too. The occasional jump scare, figures standing in the background, shapes appearing in photos etc. Boring & uneventful.

You can read our full review here.

Jeruzalem (2015)

In an attempt to be original in a genre bogged down by a complete lack of effort, Jeruzalem’s found footage concept are the smart glasses (Google Glass) that the lead, Sarah wears throughout the movie. A spoilt rich woman who is going on the trip of a lifetime to Tel Aviv with her friend, Rachel. The pair are horribly obnoxious & instantly unlikeable. They meet Kevin who likes to travel & is impressively persuasive as he talks them into taking a detour to Jerusalem.

There they take it the sights, act like uncultured scumbags, have sex & remind you just how frustrating the found-footage genre is. Eventually everything goes to hell, literally, as the gates of Hell open up & the Apocalypse begins.

A disappointing ending just caps off a horrific story that bores when you can actually see what is going on.

You can read our full review here.

Krampus: The Christmas Devil (2013)

Krampus: The Christmas Devil (not that Krampus movie) is an absolute shocker from beginning to end. If it doesn’t make you want to claw your eyeballs out, it will leave you curled up in a ball crying for Santa to bring you a brick so you can bludgeon yourself to death. Anything to escape the memory of this horrible horror movie.

The nonsense this movie calls a story sees good old Krampus taking orders from Santa. Yes, you read that correctly. In this movie, Krampus is beholden to his brother Santa and kills kids who make the jolly one’s naughty list. Only until Christmas Eve though, Santa is very insistent about that.

The acting is woefully inept, the cinematography amateurish at best, the dialogue embarrassing and the horror elements completely lacking. Entertaining? Only if torture is your idea of fun. The worst Christmas horror.

You can read our full review here.

Krampus 2: The Devil Returns (2016)

Released in 2013, Krampus: The Christmas Devil got the rare distinction of being given our first 0/10 for a Christmas horror movie. We absolutely hated it so if you had told us that it would get a sequel, we’d never have believed you. Or we’d at least begged it not to be true.

A painful watch. The lack of improvement over the original is genuinely surprising. Nothing has improved, it looks just as bad as the original. The acting is beyond dire, the story is mind-numbingly boring and does a horrendous job of trying to ‘shock’ in the latter portions of the movie.

You can read our full review here.

Moth (2016)

At its best found-footage horror can be exciting, tense & scare filled but at its worst it can be…Moth. With very few redeeming features, Moth breaks the cardinal rule of horror…don’t be boring.

Thora is researching incidents of the fabled ‘mothman’ throughout history. She believes she has found enough compelling evidence to prove that the legend is real & upon hearing about a recent incident in Hungry decides to grab her handheld camera & head over into the woods!

If the acting, characters & idiotic plot wasn’t enough to put you off then the style of filming will. The term ‘found footage’ seems to be an excuse for employing some of the most nauseating filming techniques going. You should know what you’re getting into when choosing to watch a movie like this but that doesn’t excuse the disgraceful levels of shaky cam that Moth has.

It’s non-stop & the final third of the movie is nearly unwatchable.

You can read our full review here.

Nail Gun Massacre (1985)

The movie opens with a rape. *sigh*

A woman is gang-raped by six men. Who is she? Who knows! What was the situation that led to this horrible event? Who knows! Just who are the rapists? Who knows!

Who knows, who cares. The opening scene lasts far too long before jumping 5 months later where a killer is now extracting revenge on the men using a nail gun. This killer wears a motorcycle helmet to hide their face & uses a voice changer to disguise their voice. You would think a killer wearing a motorcycle helmet would just be a silent killer but no, this person loves to talk, loves to make awful, awful puns.

It doesn’t deserve the ‘so bad it’s good’ accolade because it is such a boring & standard slasher that can’t decide what kind it wants to be. Rape revenge? Or tongue in cheek horror? Neither works in the end.

You can read our full review here.

Sleepaway Camp IV: The Survivor (2012)

Originally supposed to be released back in the early 90s. Double Helix Films, the film’s production company, went bankrupt during this time, causing the production to shut down. In 2012 the footage that was shot was complied and added to archive footage from the previous three films.

Sleepaway Camp IV: The Survivor is not a movie. It is 99% a clip show showing the events of the previous three films with the occasional shot of a woman in a bikini sunbathing. Calling this Sleepaway Camp IV: The Survivor is a disgraceful attempt to trick fans of the series so far into picking this up.

You can read our full review here.

Sugarplum (2017)

Sugarplum spends around 45 minutes of its runtime telling you things. Then about 2 minutes showing you things. All anyone does in this movie is talk and the icing on this turd-cake is the impossibly lengthy retelling of the Sugarplum Fairy villain of this movie. This section is where most will probably give up. Where we get some sort of ‘Lord of the Rings’ style retelling of a battle between Santa, Krampus and his creations, the Sugarplum fairies. All done with shitty drawings that if your child did, you’d throw in the bin.

It’s so bad, so boring, so filler, that we became convinced it was a joke. That at any point, it was going to break the fourth-wall and everyone involved was going to turn to the camera and start laughing.

It’s not a joke. It’s a serious film. One that seems to have been stretched from a 2-minute short into a 47-minute movie.

You can read our full review here.

Terror at Bigfoot Pond (2020)

A found-footage/POV horror movie, Terror at Bigfoot Pond does nothing right. It is shockingly poor with cheap visuals, horrendous acting and a story that is mind-numbing. This is one of the worst horror movies you could ever watch and it lets you know early on that you’re not going to have a good time.

10 minutes of story stretched to 80, the opening driving scene goes on and on and on and on. If you manage to not switch it off there, it’s not going to get any better. Our characters arrive and stand around talking endlessly about nothing for ages. It’s appalling how bad this all is but should you continue on, it’s not going to get any better.

You can read our full review here.

The Dark Sleep (2012)

The Dark Sleep or H.P. Lovecraft’s The Dark Sleep isn’t just the worst adaption of the great horror writer’s work I’ve ever seen. It’s also one of the worst horror movies I’ve ever seen. Over the course of 80 minutes any attempt to find a redeeming feature is entirely fruitless. Writer and director Brett Piper has put together an absolute stinker here and it is a movie we urge everyone to avoid.

Based off the H.P. Lovecraft story ‘Dreams in the Witch House’ which has seen two adaptions previously. Two strong adaptions in Stuart Gordon’s episode of Masters of Horror and the full length Curse of the Crimson Altar.

This attempt to adapt shouldn’t even been mentioned in the same breath as those.

You can read our full review here.

The Gown (2019)

The Gown is an amateurish horror with far too many problems to overlook. From bad acting, to bad visuals and even worse audio, it’s a struggle to sit through its 99 minutes.

Yes, you read that correctly. The Gown…a movie about a cursed wedding dress comes in at nearly two hours. That can only mean one of two things. Either we’re getting detailed characters, stories and loads of history about this cursed wedding dress or it’s 75% filler and padding.

Take a guess which one it is.

You can read our full review here.

The Ouija Experiment 2: Theatre of Death (2015)

The Ouija Experiment 2: Theatre of Death is proof that it doesn’t matter how bad your film is, you’ll get a sequel. The Ouija Experiment was an awful found footage horror released in 2011.

Theatre of Death goes with the premise that the first film was just that, a film. A film that apparently people loved. So much so that the cast are taking part in a meet & greet at a theatre. This particular theatre is supposed to be haunted & the plan is for a few lucky winners to take part in a haunted tour with the cast the next night. Someone wins & they invite a total stranger for ‘reasons’ & the cast/theatre crew get things ready. Unfortunately, an evil spirit is actually released when a Ouija board is messed with!

When you spend most of it trying to stay awake while also cringing you know you’ve just wasted 80+ minutes of your life. One of the worst movies ever made.

You can read our full review here.

The Wicker Man – Remake (2006)

The Wicker Man remake is an abomination. It is so bad that it will actually affected how you feel about the original. How could such a smart & unique horror movie spawn such an atrocity…is this the work of the devil?

To damage the name of The Wicker Man in such a way is unforgivable & we would hope anyone foolish enough to have seen this remake without seeing the original will strive to see why it is loved. The changes made throughout do nothing to improve upon the movie, in fact they make it worse & you will rarely hear us say that the lack of sexualisation throughout is a problem.

You can read our full review here.

The Wicker Tree (2011)

The Wicker Tree is not a sequel to the original movie but is seen as a companion piece & should never be watched by anyone.

Silliness is a word that will keep coming to mind while watching The Wicker Tree (well truth be told it is more “this is fucking stupid” but you get the point). It’s impossible to take this movie seriously especially when it seems like the actors aren’t themselves.

There is nothing to praise….the ending is rushed but you’ll be glad about that, the big reveal is not a reveal at all & character motivations pointless.

You can read our full review here.

Toxin (2015)

A shady government agency releases a virus in an old lady’s isolated house to test the results but her grandson & friends arrive shortly afterwards.

Toxin is an absolute mess of a movie with some of the worst acting you’ll ever see, hilariously bad CGI & plot developments that make zero sense.

You can read our full review here.

Vengeance of the Leprechaun (2020)

So, let’s talk about the single worst thing about this film. The thing that you can’t un-see or ignore and once seen, ruins any chance the film has of immersing you.

We are, of course, talking about the titular character, the leprechaun. Words can’t describe just how bad this thing looks and you’ll have a hard time not laughing every single time he appears to off one of the many bad characters.

Bad characters and even worse acting, this movie looks cheap but somehow feels even cheaper. It’s a chore to get through and the early amusement of how bad the Leprechaun looks diminishes. An absolute shocker of a film.

You can read our full review here.

Wolf House (2016)

Wolf House is 67 minutes long & turns out to be 60 minutes too long. Even as a 7 minute short it would have still got a low rating but as a 67 minute long film it garners one of the lowest ratings possible.

The plot is bare-bones. A group of bland & poorly acted nobodies who leave only the most basic of impressions are on a camping trip. Are they friends? Supposedly according to the film’s synopsis but you won’t know it as they have zero chemistry.

The walking corpses end up killing some sort of sasquatch that they decide to take home with them. Unfortunately for them but fortunately for us, it was not alone & confusingly seems to have been part of some sort of human/sasquatch cult.

The group’s house is then assaulted by these creatures resulting in so much screaming, shaky camera work & vomit inducing spins that you’ll want to just hold your hands up & say ‘I’m out’.

That this, a found footage movie made in 2016, chooses to repeat every mistake made by the sub-genre to date & offer no redeeming moments is unforgivable. The Blair Witch Project came out in 1999 & this in 2016. Blair Witch looks like Inception compared to this dross.

You can read our full review here.