Horror Movie Review: Night of the Tentacles (2013)

This low budget offering tells the story of Dave, a young artist who spends most of his time alone in his apartment fantasising over his down-stairs neighbour, Esther. One day Dave suffers a heart attack after ‘jacking’ it quite hard to the sound of Esther masturbating. Needing a transplant he sinks further into himself, even more lonely & pretty desperate…desperate to make a deal with devil.

The devil will give him a new heart…one that will live separately from him inside a box & just need occasional feeding. Excited by the prospect Dave agrees but like many an Apple user he fails to read the small print.

You see the heart he now has happens to be sentient & able to speak to Dave. In it’s affable British accent, the heart informs Dave that steaks & burgers aren’t going to cut it as food. No, instead it requires two humans per week. Nothing more & anything less runs the risk of making the heart ill which in turn will make Dave ill.

Having got to know Esther over the last few days, Dave isn’t ready to ‘check out’ just yet so agrees to feed the heart some of the less desirable occupants of the apartment block he lives in.

The couple who have constant noisy sex, the obnoxious upstairs neighbour & his slimy landlord. Each ends up getting fed to the heart which keeps itself hidden, instead sending out its tentacles to drink its victims blood.

After a particularly bad meal, the heart ends up eating Dave’s beloved dog. It’s one step too far for Dave who tries to get out of his deal with the devil. The devil agrees on one condition…give the heart one more victim, Esther.

For all it’s cheapness, awkward acting & far too long finale, Night of the Tentacles is surprisingly charming. Dave is a likeable chap & you end up really routing for him & Esther to get together. Their scenes together are well done & believable. Both lonely, both in difficult situations & both awkward as hell. Their first ‘date’ together really helps the final scenes have impact & will stick with you long afterwards.

The heart is a lot of fun. Like Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors you can’t get mad at it as it’s just doing what’s in its nature. Unlike Audrey II though the heart almost seems apologetic for its needs at first. Insisting that Dave should have read the small print & that it would try & meet him in the middle. Eventually Dave’s denials & arguments get to much for it & it turns nasty.

I enjoyed Night of the Tentacles way more then I thought I would. That’s mainly down to the well done love story & an enemy with good & interesting motivations. Is it perfect? Hell no! It’s ugly to look at & much of the acting is borderline cheese-fest but it’s so damn watchable!