Horror Movie Review: Underground Lizard People (2011)

If you thought a title like Underground Lizard People wasn’t a bad enough title for a movie, try Underground Lizard People: They’re Coming for You. It screams no-budget trash, and that is exactly what it is. However, that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily bad, after all many a no-budget flick has proven itself to be entertaining.

Unfortunately, that is not the case here. Underground Lizard People is as bad as you would expect, and then somehow worse. Doing a terrible job of being a mockumentary, doing a terrible job of being a horror movie, and doing a terrible job of being entertaining in the slightest.

The basic premise surrounds four filmmakers who disappeared in some underground tunnels. There to investigate reports of half-human/half-lizard people that live in cities below the ground and capture it on film. They disappeared, never to be heard of again.

This is established via a group of ‘talking heads’ speaking directly to the camera about the events and the conspiracy surrounding it. Hence, why this is a mockumentary. However, unlike most traditional films that follow this formula, Underground Lizard People doesn’t set up an investigation, found footage, or a recreation. Instead, we just see the events that befell the group of filmmakers with no explanation.

A group of young adults went into some tunnels and came across a handful of humans (some of whom are naked women) with terrible make-up. They die, but also cause plenty of devastation to the ‘lizard people’, asking the question of who is the real evil here.

Sort of. It’s not a well explained movie, made all the worse by writer/director Jared Cohn speaking directly to the camera at the end to explain that the movie has a climate change message.

What? It would be funny if it wasn’t so absurd.

The writing is awful, but even then, with a cast this bad, it wouldn’t have mattered. Every single person, and this includes the ‘talking heads’ segments, stinks up the screen, but can you blame them? Absolutely no-one could take this seriously or have any kind of passion for it.

Its one saving grace is that it’s short, at around an hour, but even then, it’s not worth the time investment. Even if you are a mad person who believes in conspiracies surrounding the possibility of actual underground lizard people.