Horror Movie Review: Thorns (2023)

If we were rating Thorns based solely off imagination and doing wonders with a low-budget, Thorns would be looking at an eight or nine out of ten. Director Douglas Schulze has done a fantastic job of marrying religious dogma with an apocalyptic story, while also delivering on horror and gore.

It’s a very enjoyable watch, with a few niggling issues here and there, that stops if from being a great movie.

Jon Bennett plays Gabriel Goodman, a former priest, who is asked to investigate a remote observatory by the archbishop Jenkins (Doug Bradley). The observatory has been examining a signal from a deep space probe that recently came back online after years of silence. The probe has transmitted an image that may have huge religious significance.

Gabriel is the man for this job, but even he is completely unprepared for the horror that awaits him. What if Hell does exist but not quite as we believe we know it?

Thorns does a good job of combining surreal and tangible elements to tell a story that is both character based and world encompassing. With the former, the movie keeps the cast small so all the focus is on them. The character of Gabriel, a priest who has lost his faith, and a mute nun named Sister Agnes (Cassandra Schomer), who believes the discovery will bring about the end of the world. Both characters have depth and arcs, and both are played wonderfully well.

Whereas the latter is realised through religious imagery and immersive sound. Obviously, with a low budget, there’s not a lot of breathing room when it comes to showing the apocalypse, but Thorns does a good job of making you believe it is happening.

A major part of this, and what makes the overall experience quite compelling, is how it express its theological thoughts. It’s not about bashing the Christian faith, but rather twisting what we know and asking questions that no-one can really answer. If you have interest in this sort of thing, you’re going to find Thorns more exciting.

Yet, that doesn’t mean those who want some horror will be left wanting. Be under no false illusions, Thorns is a horror movie and is not afraid to be gory. In fact, by modern standards, it pushes the limits as Douglas Schulze goes back to the time when practical effects ruled all. This results in some really visceral imagery, uncomfortable scenes, and a monster that looks fantastic. It’s areas like this where Thorns excels.

The end result is an immensely watchable film that feels both fresh and old at the same time. Any of its niggling issues can be overlooked when such an incredible amount of effort has gone into making it feel important.