Horror Movie Review: They Crawl Beneath (2022)

Directed by Dale Fabrigar, written by Tricia Aurand and starrng Joseph Almani, Karlee Eldridge, and Michael Paré, They Crawl Beneath doesn’t know what kind of film it wants to be. Resulting in a movie filled with half-finished elements that leave you frustrated and wholly unsatisfied.

Danny (Joseph Almani) is a policeman in a small town enjoying some time off over the Thanksgiving holiday period. It would be easier for him to relax though if the occasional earthquakes would stop, his girlfriend Gwen (Karlee Eldridge) would get back with him, and his Uncle Bill (Michael Paré) would stop being an insufferable drunk.

Although that doesn’t stop Danny working with Bill on fixing up an old muscle car and calling Gwen to see where they are at. It’s when she comes by to talk, that Bill is bitten by a large worm.

After getting nowhere with their relationship woes (it appears as though Gwen is worried that he will be killed in the line of duty like his father), she leaves and takes the worm to a colleague who analysis it as a new, unknown, and highly dangerous species. One with venom that can be fatal in a couple of hours, after the victim has suffered disorientating hallucinations.

Before Gwen can tell Danny to get Bill to a hospital, another earthquake hits. Right when the pair are under the car. Bill is killed and Danny’s leg is trapped with no obvious way for him to get free. Aside from all the things lying around in the garage that he could at least try to use. He will, eventually, but he certainly try the viewer’s patience with his lack of prioritisation. Choosing, at one stage, to find a way to open the fridge and eat a sandwich instead of doing everything possible to lift the car off his leg.

In fact, Danny doesn’t really snap into gear until he is attacked by more of the venomous worms. Now, much larger and deadly. Bitten by one, he is eventually able to get free but is still trapped in the garage as the earthquake blocked the door. Will he be able to survive the onslaught of the worms as hallucinations hit? Will Gwen be able to save him before its to late? Will anyone care as all of Danny’s relationships come into question when Bill’s wallet reveals some startling revelations?

It might seem cruel to say that last line but it’s the truth. It Crawls Beneath is part monster movie, part survival thriller and part drama, failing to do any of it well. Most of the movie takes place inside the garage and with Danny. Him having to free himself, survive, and deal with intense hallucinations would be totally fine. If the only focus was on this and his relationship with Gwen.

That’s not the case though. Instead, we have revelations that involve his mother and Uncle Bill that feel cheap and unearned as both characters are barely in it. It also doesn’t help that they are unlikable, which also goes for the leads too. Danny isn’t just unlikable, he’s an idiot. Making some of the dumbest decisions in the film possible. There’s also no depth to his and Gwen’s issues, and aside from one flashback/dream, you wouldn’t ever know just what her issue is. Which makes their eventual reunion fall extremely flat.

Then we have the worms, who take a big backseat to the main dramatic narrative but come into play at the end. Utilising mostly practical effects, they look good and give off an aura of threat. Although their penchant for hide and seek does get tiresome by the end. The problem with them is that they’re under-utilised and their existence is never expanded upon. Are they responsible for the recent spate of earthquakes or did the earthquakes free them? We never see them outside the confines of the garage and only Danny seems to be dealing with their attacks.

Monster movie or drama? You decide. Either way, They Crawl Beneath doesn’t work.