Horror Movie Review: Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood (1996)

Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood is a 1996 horror comedy starring Dennis Miller, Erika Eleniak, Angie Everhart, Corey Feldman and Chris Sarandon. Part of the much-loved Tales from the Crypt TV Series, instead of a collection of stories it focuses on one story only with the traditional Crypt Keeper intro and outro.

Of the three full length offerings, Bordello of Blood is far superior. Thanks to great effects, good acting and clever tongue in cheek humour.

The movie opens with a group of treasure hunters uncovering the coffin of Lilith, mother of all vampires deep within a cave. The leader, Vincent (Phil Fondacaro) resurrects her where she kills all the treasure hunters but Vincent. He survives by using a special talisman/key (from the Demon Knight film) to subdue her.

The movie then switches to the Crypt Keeper who is hanging out at a bar with The Mummy. Bored, they begin a game of rock, paper, scissors that sees them get a body part chopped off should they lose. While playing the Crypt Keeper continues the story.

Caleb (Corey Feldman) is a bad-boy teenager who refuses to listen to his sister. They have a fight and he heads out to a bar to meet his friends. There, he finds out about a secret brothel hidden within a funeral home. Him and his friends decide to pay it a visit but make the unfortunate discovery that it’s filled with vampires.

A week later, Caleb still hasn’t come home and the police aren’t interested in helping his sister, Catherine (Erika Eleniak). She ends up hiring the private detective Rafe (Dennis Miller) whose cynical and sarcastic nature makes him the most fun character in the movie.

He starts digging around & discovers the truth behind the brothel but will he too become a victim of the Bordello of Blood?

So much fun! Bordello of Blood is so much fun! It’s not scary, it’s not that funny and at times it is incredibly cheesy. However, it makes up for that with buckets of gore, tons of nudity and a cast clearly enjoying themselves.

The cast…now it’s easy to see Dennis Miller annoying a fair few people. As his dry wit is non-stop but his character is kind of endearing. Especially playing off so many serious characters. Chris Sarandon is great as a preacher all about showmanship, Erika Eleniak has a solid turn as a prim and proper Christian, Angie Everhart is deliciously seductive and evil as Lilith and even Corey Feldman playing his usual teenager self is pretty entertaining. There really isn’t anyone that stinks up the screen even if some of the dialogue is groan-worthy.

They’re not what most will remember though as Bordello of Blood is very graphic in an over the top kind of way. Hearts are ripped out, limbs chopped off and bodies explode in silly but constantly fun ways. The finale that sees the brothel assaulted by our holy water pistol toting heroes is gleefully enjoyable.

Like all good Tales from the Crypt endings, Bordello of Blood also comes with a darkly fun finish. It’s fairly predictable but doesn’t dent its impact at all.

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