Horror Movie Review: Sorority Row – Remake (2009)

Sorority Row is a 2009 remake of the 1983 slasher horror, The House on Sorority Row. The story sees a group of sorority sisters from Theta Pi play a prank on a cheating boyfriend that goes horribly wrong.

Megan, with the help of her sorority sisters (Cassidy, Jessica, Ellie, Claire & Chuggs) fakes her own death after the cheating boyfriend, Garrett slips her a Ruffy (date rape drug). Thinking he gave her too much making her overdose, he panics but is calmed down by the rest of the sorority group.

They come up with a plan to dispose of Megan’s body at a nearby lake…all part of this elaborate prank. However, once they arrive things go way off course as Garrett, believing Megan to be dead, shoves a tire iron directly through her chest.

She may not have been dead before but she certainly is now. The leader of Theta Pi, Jessica, realises that they now have no choice but to actually dispose of the body. Something Cassidy & Ellie are less then pleased about. Regardless the group dump Megan’s body down a mine-shaft & swear each other to secrecy.

The movie then jumps 8 months ahead as Theta Pi are graduating from University. They’ve managed to put Megan’s death behind them, all expect Cassidy who has distanced herself from the rest.

With graduation done the sisters are planning to go their separate ways but not before throwing one last party. A party that they’ll remember for the rest of their lives when all the girls receive the same text message. It shows a robbed figure holding the same tire iron that killed Megan.

Jessica suspects Garrett who has gone a bit crazy since the events of that night but when Maggie, Megan’s younger sister arrives to honour her at the party things start to get a bit bloody.

A killer is stalking the girls, taking them out one by one. Is it Garrett trying to right the wrong from 8 months ago? Does Maggie want revenge for her sister? Is it one of the other girls trying to ensure no-one will talk? Or maybe Megan is back from the grave? Or is it someone who barely features, has poor motivation & is laughably bad as the villain?

Take a guess…

Sorority Row is a mostly unexciting slasher flick that spends far too much time trying to build tension to the next kill only for it to inevitably let you down. Visually it’s slick, with some violent, gory moments & does well to keep you guessing until the end. It’s a surprise just who the killer is but only because it made no sense for that person to actually be the killer!

Even when their motivation is cleared up it doesn’t make it any easier to swallow.

A few of the leads excel in their roles & play them with glee. Leah Pipes as Jessica in particular does a great job. Her role is hardly original as she plays the bitchy, manipulative leader of Theta Pi but she does it incredibly well. The rest of the female cast, Carrie Fisher excluded, do a perfectly decent job too. They’re just not as memorable.

Carrie Fisher plays the sorority house mother, Mrs. Crenshaw & she seems like she can hardly be bothered. Her big moment involves shooting a shotgun at the killer in an enclosed space & managing to miss while spouting off some cheesy, forced puns. It’s pretty horrible to watch.

Lasting over 100 minutes, it’s far too long & you can point at so many scenes & sequences that could/should have been cut. However, it does have a number of entertaining moments & as modern slashers go it is far from the worst.