Horror Movie Review: Salem’s Lot (2024)

Salem’s Lot is a 2024 American supernatural horror film written and directed by Gary Dauberman, based on the 1975 novel by Stephen King.

Writer Ben Mears returns to his hometown of Jerusalem’s Lot to write a book about his childhood. He befriends and starts a romantic relationship with Susan Norton, a local who has an overbearing mother and dreams of leaving town. Meanwhile, middle school student Mark Petrie finds himself the target of a school bully and meets school teacher Matt Burke. A strange European man called Straker opens an antique store in town. He also moves into the long-abandoned Marsten House which has a history of murders. Straker has a large coffin shipped into the house and placed in the basement.

Straker kidnaps one of Mark’s friends Ralphie and sacrifices him to his master, a vampire called Kurt Barlow. A search party is unsuccessful in finding the boy and the residents blame newcomer Ben. An unseen creature attacks Ralphie’s brother Danny and he later dies from Pernicious Anemia. After his funeral, Danny emerges from his coffin, now a vampire, and bites gravedigger Mike.

Matt encounters a sickly Mike at a bar and invites him to stay the night before taking him to a doctor. After noticing a set of strange symptoms, Matt suspects that Mike has been turned into a vampire. After witnessing Danny fly into his house through a window, Matt flees and tells Ben and Susan. Along with Dr. Cody and Sheriff Gillespie, the group examines Mike’s now lifeless body although Matt does not tell Cody or Gillespie about what he saw. Later that night, Mike returns, fully turned into a vampire but Matt is able to ward him off with a cross. Danny attempts to trick Mark into letting him into the house but Mark resists and also fends off Danny.

Mark researches how to kill vampires. The next day, Dr. Cody is informed that Danny and Ralphie’s mother has been found dead from the same disease that killed her son. After discovering that Mike’s body has also vanished, Cody confronts Matt. He tells her, Ben, and Susan about the vampires and how to defeat them.

Can they… oh I don’t really care. Don’t watch and find out, it’s not worth it.

Bill Pullman is definitely regretting pulling the nepo trigger on his son for this one. Although, arguably the best part of the movie (which isn’t saying a lot), Lewis Pullman was a strange choice for a main star. Hopefully this film doesn’t hold his career back permanently, but it was pretty bad.

One of my main gripes, and absolutely not to bully a child here, was the character of Mark Petrie. The blame has to fall on the director here because child actors are only doing what they’re told and they were cast in the first place so you must assume somebody said they were capable. Unfortunately, his performance in this movie is like watching a cardboard cut out. Mark Petrie is very central to the story and requires a lot of emotions, reactions and face acting. All of which are totally missing. His reactions are as if he’s reading a very boring newspaper and it’s distracting and drags down everyone else. I’m really not asking for much, just any emotion, any facial expression, would have been great. I genuinely don’t understand what the director was thinking.

A prime example of his lack of emotion is when him and Ben drive away at the end, Ben makes a joke. And Mark sits there like a mannequin. If he wasn’t able to do the part then he should have been recast, it’s that simple.

Moving on, Salem’s Lot is the least subtle film I’ve ever watched. It lacks any suspense or tension. The effects are poor, all CGI and not something that will hold up. The vampire children have entirely CGI makeup and if they look bad now, I can’t imagine in 10 years. The big bad villain, Mr Barlow, is incredible in the original. He looks terrifying and you can physically see he is taking up space on set. In this modern version, he’s so overdone and doesn’t look good standing still so the camera never fully settles on him. And one funny thing I noticed after seeing James Wan is a producer is that Mr Barlow looks exactly like Valak, The Nun but with the veil removed. The lack of creativity is insane.

There are certainly some artistic choices in this movie. But none as baffling as the glowing cross. Sure, ok, it looks great visually but it’s never addressed and has no relevance. It’s purely a gimmick that comes out of nowhere.

The romance is pointless, it adds nothing and goes nowhere. Salem’s Lot is so confused at times that there are 2 specific moments where I simply burst into laughter. One where the sheriff is thrown through the church window and one where Mark plows through an old woman with a car (straight faced of course).

Lastly, if I hadn’t seen the original movie, I wouldn’t have had a clue what was going on. They don’t explain very much at all and in the ending, where did all the vampire kids go? In the original there’s more time to slow down and feel the fear and tension. It’s shocking how the most iconic scene of the child vampire in the window, was thrown away like garbage in moments.

Overall, don’t waste your time here. A poorly done remake, nothing to see here. A movie full of CGI monstrosities that will never stand the test of time, when they can’t even stand the test of the pause button.