Horror Movie Review: Porkchop (2010)

Porkchop is a super low budget, slasher horror movie that should have been good but due some glaringly obvious issues it comes up short.

A group of friends (sort of) are on a weekend camping trip way out in the middle of nowhere at an abandoned summer camp. I say sort of because no-one really likes each other and the couple of the group are on their last legs. Probably because one of them is also banging the cheerleader of the group on the side.

By the way, we know she is a cheerleader because she wears a cheerleader’s outfit throughout the movie. Why? Who knows! It’s Porkchop!

Each character is a ridiculous caricature of standard horror characters. We have the likes of the slutty cheerleader, the other slutty girl who is so desperate to shag that she literally fucks a robot, the obnoxious Brit, the super-nerdy guy and of course, the sentient robot itself.

If that last character sounds a bit odd, then wait until you see what it looks like. If the cheapness wasn’t enough it also likes to drink beer, blackmail its creator and have sex. The robot might actually be the most entertaining of them all!

Once out in the woods the usual stuff happens. Lots of drinking, lots of high jinks and lots of sex. During some downtime, one of the group tells the tale of Porkchop. A killer wearing a pig mask who stalks people in these woods killing anyone he comes across.

It’s just a story though, right?

It’s no surprise that Porkchop has its tongue planted firmly in its cheek. Filled with silly moments, cheesy acting and awkward scenes. The problem is often whether a lot of these scenes and moments were actually intentional. Even with that in mind a lot of the jokes fall flat.

Porkchop is low-budget but even still the audio is pretty bad. No-where is that more noticeable than during the telling of the Porkchop legend. Here the critters of the woods are magnified to the point where hearing the actual dialogue is a struggle. Then there is the poor lighting and far too many closeups of the killer during the more action-packed moments.

As villains go, Porkchop is an interesting one but we just don’t get enough of him to really feel his threat. The movie is very slow and takes quite a while to get to the first dead body (excluding the opening 2 minutes). When he is dishing out the damage though, things do improve. A chainsaw to the vagina is a particularly imaginative moment.

Unfortunately, overall Porkchop is short on ideas and won’t leave any kind of impression because of that. It’s far from terrible but isn’t deserving of anything but a mild recommendation. With two sequels and a spin-off it’s not the last we will be seeing of the piggy killer.

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