Horror Movie Review: Pitchfork (2017)

Due to be released on January 13th in theatres (The US) and On Demand via Uncork’d Entertainment, Pitchfork has been produced by Glenn Douglas Packard, Darryl F. Gariglio and Noreen Marriott, with associate producer Shaun Cairo, and boasting a screenplay by Gariglio and Packard. Pitchfork looks to introduce audiences to a horrifying new movie monster.

Hunter has recently told his parents that he is gay. Worried about seeing them at his family farm for the first time since that news, he has brought along a few friends for support.

Once there the group enjoy the country life, taking part in a barn dance & screwing each others partners before coming under attack from a psychotic man wearing a filthy animal fur mask with a pitchfork jammed in the stump of where his left hand used to be.

The party is over, now it’s just a desperate attempt to survive against an enemy that feels no pain, has no fear & no remorse. Not that you’ll care about who survives as the characters are forgettable (I think they had names) & the actors shockingly bad.

Several times I just laughed out loud at the poor dialogue being spoken by a group of actors that have very little talent. It’s cringe-inducing stuff at times & made worse because no one character has the lead role (although it seems as if it should be Hunter (Brain Raetz) & they are picked off at an alarmingly quick rate. The big cast are only here to get murdered at the hands of Pitchfork.

As the killer, Pitchfork is a confusing character. His speed is almost supernatural & he seems to suffer no pain considering he has a pitchfork jammed in the stump of his hand (very nice looking though). However as the film goes on you realise he is just a product of his even more messed up family (the best actors in the film hamming it up wonderfully). It’s all very Texas Chainsaw…

What Pitchfork lacks in originality (story-wise) it at least makes up for in violent, bloody kills. He has no qualms about who he kills & how he kills them, it can be fun but the big, uninteresting cast means it all lacks impact.

When the credits finally roll you’ll be left feeling very disappointed, Pitchfork just isn’t a good movie.