Horror Movie Review: No Tell Motel (2012)

The urban dictionary defines a ‘no tell motel’ as:

‘A motel meant for having sex in. Check in, make out, check out again after a few hours. term “no-tell” comes from anonymity requested with such events. The motel won’t say what goes on in its rooms, but it’s assumed to be sex.’

No Tell Motel isn’t a porno, just a tiresome & boring cliched horror movie.

A group of young adults break down so decide to shack up in a run-down & abandoned motel. This particular motel has a past, one involving a little girl who was accidentally run over & killed outside. She now haunts the motel so cue eerie events, everyone splitting up & a ‘twist’ that is hilariously bad.

There is so little to praise here. The characters are defined by one particular trait. Spoilt, jock, good-girl…it’s as basic as it could possibly be & doesn’t endear you to any of them. Simply put you won’t care in the slightest about any single character. It’s hard to be too bothered about the lacklustre acting as there is so little direction & so little to work with, you can’t really blame the actors. The dialogue is poor, bordering on embarrassing at times.

As the characters separate it results in a confusing narrative with constant cuts between them.

No Tell Motel goes for a more ‘chilling’ horror rather than the a ‘bloody’ one. At least until the absurd finale. This wouldn’t be a problem if the movie had scares but it has none. What it attempts to do is so unoriginal that all you’ll do is roll your eyes & shrug your shoulders. The jump scare moments are incredibly ineffective proving to be very easy to predict.

While it’s clear there is effort here to make No Tell Motel less of a ‘teens in haunted place’ film, it doesn’t pay off. Forgettable & barely worth mentioning.

[amazon_link asins=’B00B6RBSRU’ template=’UseThisOne’ store=’g0e5b-21′ marketplace=’UK’ link_id=’5be00cef-17f0-11e8-baa8-17053e35eaa8′]