Horror Movie Review: Meatcleaver Massacre (1977)

One watch of Meatcleaver Massacre will leave you with many questions, with the most pertinent being the location of an actual meat cleaver in the film. As far as I could see, there isn’t one. However, there is a massacre, but that’s not the actual focus of the film. Instead, it’s more of revenge flick, one that involves a Gaelic demon.

The next question you may ask is why Christopher Lee bookends the film with narration that seems totally unconnected to the film. Hilariously, that’s because the footage featuring Christopher Lee was actually shot for a different project that never came to fruition, and was purchased by the producers of this film and added in. It was called Hollywood Meatcleaver Massacre originally (an even dumber name) and then re-released with the new footage as Meatcleaver Massacre.

If you’re thinking that this sounds like a mess already, you’re in for a surprise as the actual film has a simple story that plays out in simple fashion. A group of young men invade a professor’s house and attack/murder almost everyone inside. The only survivor is the professor, who has been paralysed and is in a coma. Except he’s not and is able to call up a Gaelic demon to get revenge on those who attacked him and his family.

The professor is able to summon such a creature because he specialises in ancient rites and rituals, and the gang that attacked him was led by one of his students. One by one, this creature manifests and kills those responsible, with claws, not a meat cleaver before you ask.

It’s basic slasher stuff, and wholly unremarkable, but not unenjoyable. Partially because it’s short and to the point, partially because it is of a period where a lot of its cliches can be forgiven as they weren’t cliches yet, and partially because its not coy with the violence and gore. In fact, the red stuff flows and still looks pretty good considering its low-budget state.

Still, you’re going to have to work hard to be entertained here. Its story is nothing special, the characters are non-existent, the acting ranges from awkward to stinking cheese, and the ending is quite flat. It’s ok though, here’s Christopher Lee to talk about evil completely unrelated to the film you just watched.