Horror Movie Review: Decoys (2004)

A promising teen-horror at first, Decoys ends up being little more than a standard, forgettable T&A obsessed flick. Everything about this film screams ‘TV Movie’, which it was, airing on SyFy back when it was called the Sci-Fi Channel.

Directed by Matthew Hastings who co-wrote it with Tom Berry, the movie takes place in and around a New Brunswick college town. Luke (Corey Sevier) is a college kid looking to get laid and seems to be in luck. That is until he secretly spots his would-be bedroom partner sprouting tentacles from a small hole in her stomach. It’s the sort of thing that puts you off sex, although no-one believes him of course.

Luke suspects that she and her sorority sisters are in fact aliens. A fact confirmed to him as the movie goes on. So, what’s the alien goal? Simple. To reproduce as their race is dying out. The problem is that their victims end up frozen because the mating process involves sub-zero temperatures.

Luke has to stop them but how do you explain to a ton of teenage boys that the beautiful girl who wants to have sex with them is an alien? To make matters worse, his roommate Roger (Elias Toufexis) is falling in love with one named, Constance (Kim Poirier).

Decoys is the cold shower after you’ve failed to get lucky on a night out. It teases and teases then blows you off to get a cab home. Whether it be the films lack of violence or blood or the constant promise of outrageous silly alien horror that never comes, it’s a frustrating watch.

At times, it feels like a horror movie then at others, like a comedy horror. Never going far enough in either direction. It seems like focusing on the latter would have been a better choice as the concept is amusing. Alien sorority sisters looking to impregnate the men folk of a college? Make us laugh! It almost does a few times but always pulls back at the last minute.

It’s a shame as there is talent in this film. The story is different enough to garner some attention and the cast are surprisingly solid. The best comparison is to something like Species. Just with less nudity, less impressive visuals and less bloody mayhem. It’s not terrible, it’s just disappointing as it really should have been better.