Horror Movie Review: Camp Blood (1999)

Let’s start a review in the worst way possible by simply telling you that Camp Blood is a shoddily made, shoddily acted and shoddily told slasher horror. Don’t bother, there is nothing to enjoy here and by the time it ends you’re likely to have tried to rip your eyes out to stop the suffering.

Writer/Director Brad Sykes manages to evoke a range of emotions in Camp Blood. You’ll feel boredom, frustration, annoyance, confusion and sadness. The latter because you’ve wasted your time watching the film when you could have been stabbing a fork into your hand instead.

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Opening with a frolicking couple being dispatched by an unimaginative killer in a cheap clown mask and boiler suit. If you make it past the awkward attempt at a sex scene, the horrible dialogue, the muffled sound, the laughable gore effects and jarring music, congratulations! It’s only going to get worse.

We then meet a group of friends who may or may not have names, it doesn’t matter as the acting is so bad they all morph into the same character as you watch. They are going on a camping trip to…you guessed it! The same place as where the couple were killed at the start.

Surely this is where things get good right? A killer stalking the campers, dispatching them one by one? Right? RIGHT?

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No. Instead we get an impossible amount of time spent with characters walking around the woods, arguing and sitting around a campfire. How fun! Barely watchable before it hits night time once it does, Camp Blood becomes officially unwatchable.

Darkness and muffled dialogue that lasts for absolutely ages. If you’ve made it this far, congratulations! It’s not going to get any better.

One of the characters, who is totally not the killer, nope, definitely not the killer at all, no way, tells the story of the killer clown. The rest try to act scared but can’t pull it off then go to bed. The next morning one of their number has been murdered then the rest come under attack from the killer clown.

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What an absolute mess of movie this is. Not so much as a chore to watch but absolute torture. Everything is bad. The cinematography is horrendous, the sound is terrible, the effects are hilariously bad and the ‘twist’ ending makes no sense.

There is no talent involved here and after watching it you’ll feel as though a sliver of your soul has been chipped away.

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Camp Blood
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