Horror Movie Review: On The Brain (2016)

They say never judge a book by its cover. It basically means reserve your judgement until you know more. It’s a saying that can be used in almost all walks of life & all forms of media. However, in the case of 95% of horror movies it often has the opposite meaning.

Good cover, bad movie.

In horror you’ll get a fantastic piece of cover art, gory & violent which will get your imagination running wild. Normally that’s backed up with a mysterious tag-line that promises an experience like no other. It’s often what draws someone to check out the movie but just like they say don’t judge a book by the cover, don’t expect anything from a horror with great cover art.

You’ll feel a whole lot less ripped off.

You see On The Brain is one such film that implies quality with its very cool cover art. It implies a nasty, gross brain parasite/zombie movie that will leave you shocked. When in fact, it should just have had ‘insert stock picture of a poorly acted infected person’ on the front with this tag line:

Menstruation…you’ll hear that word a lot.

Kelly (Danny Hansen) is the new sheriff of the small, backwater town of Golden Torch. Other then seeming to be a bit behind the time & having an over-bearing Mayor (guess who the villain of the movie is?), the town seems perfectly fine.

That is until the residents randomly start foaming at the mouth & attacking the nearest woman. The reason as to why only women get attacked isn’t revealed until later in the movie but it’s not one to get too excited about.

SPOILERS!

Women give off a scent when they’re having their monthlies & it’s driving the killing/raping frenzy.

This plot development is so poorly handled, so gob-smackingly stupid that you can only hope that everyone involved hangs their heads in shame every time they think about it. The scent of a woman’s period turns the men into rapist, ravenous animals & it just so happens that the small cast of females all just happen to be on at the same time. Well, I guess something about synchronisation, right?

Add the absurdity of that with a sheriff that is so inept that he is over-powered by the elderly mayor on several occasions. Throw in a villain that begins to reach James Bond bad-guy levels of gloating, a pointless side-story about the sheriff’s ex-girlfriend & a huge amount of filler.

The acting is shockingly bad, so bad that it borders on hilarious. Several times you can actually see the lights dying in their eyes as they spout more rubbish lines.

No-one really puts any effort in, that is until one character is required to scream and scream.

This character decides that this scream is what she’s going to throw her all into resulting in the most ear-piercing screams outside of an Indiana Jones movie, Temple of Doom specifically. It’s unintentionally hilarious, well, up until the attempted rape that follows.

On the Brain is filled with unintentional comedy that almost always comes to a screeching halt with these jammed in ‘dark’ moments. Why those involved didn’t just go down the ‘horror comedy’ route I’ll never understand.

There really isn’t much in the way of positives, some of the later wounds look kind of gruesome & the no-shits given mayor has moments but that is about it.