The movie opens with a doctor arriving to a hospital to help deliver 3 babies that are all being born at the same time from 3 different women. If that wasn’t enough a solar eclipse is also taking place!
The movie then jumps to 10 years later were we see a young couple getting it on in a cemetery (teenagers in the 80s were very horny they didn’t care where they got their action). They climb into an open grave for privacy, as you do & are promptly killed by shovels to the head & strangulation via a skipping rope. This scene is unintentionally hilarious as the shovel hits are tame at best & the strangulation is the quickest death in the history of horror!
The next day the town’s sheriff is quizzing a class full of kids to see if any of them know anything about the skipping rope that was used to kill the couple. One of the kids, Debbie is his daughter & after he leaves she reveals herself to be one of three killer kids along with Curtis & Steven.
The trio were the children born at the beginning of the film & for reasons that are never explained they are devious murderers. Debbie is the ring-leader leading the two boys to do her bidding while charging the neighbourhood kids money to spy on her neighbour as she undresses (something we also get to see for far too long – 80’s horror loved showing of boobs).
Debbie is great, a proper piece of shit who puts on an innocent face whenever trouble comes her way.
As the body count rises no-one suspects the trio, after all they’re just kids. However another called Timmy is wise to them after having been locked in an abandoned refrigerator & left to die. For Debbie, he is the one that got away & the one that can spoil all her plans.
Bloody Birthday is very entertaining even if it is filled with corny acting, terrible plot & an ending that is such a let-down. The film doesn’t hang about, with the first killings happening in the first few minutes. It then doesn’t long to reveal just who the murderers are & the rest of the film is just watching & enjoying the kids as they kill their families & neighbours.
The only good character is Debbie who portrays an innocent child that can turn in an instant perfectly. The rest are forgettable & you’ll want to punch one of the kids every time he smiles. It’s a pity that it’s so light on gore though as this would have really stepped it up a notch. The variety in death takes a hit once a gun comes out to play & things get a bit silly. This gun is used several times to kill & not a single person in this neighbourhood hears the gunshot!
Perhaps the best moment though is when Joyce, the older sister of Timmy, is being attacked by Curtis & grabs a fishbowl. Rather then smash it over his head she chooses instead to just throw the water in his face! Were the film-makers worried about showing kids being violently attacked? He’s got a bloody gun!
As I said at the start the film ends confusingly & disappointedly before following the trend of many 80’s horror movies by dropping in some sequel bait. Unsurprisingly it doesn’t have one.
- The Final Score - 6/106/10