Horror Movie Review: Blood Theatre (1984)

Ahhhh, the good old 80s. Where any kind of horror could be made regardless of how stupid or unoriginal it was. This willingness has meant we’ve had so many bad movies and Blood Theatre can now be added to that list.

Also know as Movie House Massacre, it was directed by Rick Sloane in his feature film debut. He would later direct Hobgoblins, often considered to be one of the worst movies ever made.

The film opens at a popular movie theatre where the owner goes insane and kills everyone inside. This sounds like a great opening but it’s not really as he stabs a few employees before starting a fire. The place doesn’t burn down, instead we just see bodies lying everywhere so we have to presume they died from smoke inhalation.

The place is closed down of course but years later, Spot Light Cinema acquires it and decides to re-open it. Well, we know what that means, don’t we!?

Sure enough, it’s not long before the new employees are being killed off by an old man in a tuxedo.

Standard slasher stuff…except Blood Theatre also throws in supernatural elements too that suggest the old man might have powers. It’s as confused as it sounds and totally lacks scares, unless closing doors and flickering lights are your thing.

Tension or mystery? Move along! After the beginning what we have here is a really boring film about the people that work in the theatre. So much of its short run-time is filled with mindless chatter and annoying, poorly written and badly acted characters. They do give us odd unintentional hilarious moments though such as snack bar attendant Selena (Joanna Fox) ripping open her shirt in a busy auditorium and behaving like a lunatic!

You think you’ve seen bad horror? You’ve not seen anything until you’ve subjected yourself to Blood Theatre. It’s a special kind of bad with almost no redeeming parts. There isn’t even any decent gore and the effects are terrible. Add in the jarring music and the only thing that is worth praising is the death that involves someone being fried inside a popcorn machine!

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