Horror Movie Review: Blades (1989)

From Troma Entertainment, directed by Thomas R. Rondinella, who also co-wrote the film with producers William R. Pace and John P. Finegan, Blades is the epitome of a ‘so bad it’s good movie’. A horror comedy that intentionally parodies the 1975 classic, Jaws. Except, instead of being scared of going in the water, you’re being told to be scared of going on the golf course.

Why? Is there a killer stalking the holes, using clubs to batter their victims to death? Are the sand traps literal? Does having a handicap on the green mean something darker than it normally does?

Be serious. It’s a possessed lawn mower, because, of course it is.

The Tall Grass Country Club has a problem, and it’s one that owner Norman Osgood (William Towner) is desperate to ignore. A couple of teenagers have been killed, their bodies mutilated, and answers are needed. However, this threatens an upcoming nationally televised golf tournament that is very important to the club.

With the help of the police chief, Osgood is able to keep the news of the deaths away from the press. However, the killings don’t stop and now golfers are turning up dead. Tall Grass’s newest professional, former celebrity golf player Roy Kent (Robert North) decides to investigate, alongside Kelly Lange employee (Victoria Scott).

By time they learn the truth, it’s to late… can anything stop the rampant mower?

It really is as stupid as it sounds, but goodness, is it entertaining. An unashamed parody of Jaws, it’s quite funny to see many of the iconic scenes from the shark movie aped here, and everyone involved was certainly game to make it work. Even if there are plenty of times where it just doesn’t.

It’s a constant back and forth. Giving us funny ideas and clever scenes, but then throwing in dull and lengthy segments that mean nothing to the overall story. Often, it’s the character-based stuff that fails to spark the most. A jarring love story between Roy and Kelly that is wholly unearned, the former having performance issues stemming from his pro golfing days, the latter having been usurped for the manager’s job by the former. It’s a ton of padding and does the film a lot of harm.

Thankfully, their good performances save it, as well as many good performances from the supporting cast. In a movie this silly, Robert North playing the Roy Kent character so straight, works surprisingly well.

All aspects that are the making of a terrible film, but instead Blades becomes a fun film. Simply because everyone knew it was a stupid idea, so do everything possible to make it work, all while winking at the camera. The positives easily outweigh the negatives, and can it can easily be seen as hidden gem of the very late 80s.