Horror Movie Review: Beauty Queen Butcher (1991)

From writer/director Jill Rae Zurborg comes an early 90’s comedy horror that feels like it will never end. At nearly 2 hours long, Beauty Queen Butcher is a bloated, humourless and boring entity… kind of like its main character is portrayed to be.

Phyllis (Rhona Brody) is an unattractive, overweight loser (the film will make sure you know this) who is unpopular at school and bullied by the pretty, thin popular girls. They are constantly tormenting her whenever they’re not focusing on winning the upcoming Queen Beauty Pageant.

The ‘head’ popular girl Muffy (Kathryn A. Mensik) comes up with a way to not only humiliate Phyllis but to ensure none of the girls come last in the competition. They make it so that Phyllis enters and of course, make it a horrible experience for her.

Phyllis soldiers on but ends up upsetting Elizabeth (Tammy Pescatelli) when she brings her cat to the event. Elizabeth is allergic and has a reaction to the furball costing, what she believes was her chance to win. Once the event is all over and Muffy has been crowned, they decide to take their bullying behaviour a step to far and kill Phyllis’ cat.

Which turns out to be the final straw for Phyllis who goes on a murderous rampage to finally be crowned the winner of the Pageant.

If you want a small idea of just how much this movie drags, Phyllis’ rampage hasn’t even got close to kicking off at 70 minutes in. Over an hour of crap acting, unfunny jokes about fat people and nerds, and very little else. It is a chore to get through but don’t be fooled, once the death does start, it doesn’t really get any better.

If you’re hoping for an 80’s slasher throwback with buckets of silliness and blood, be prepared to be disappointed. Beauty Queen Butcher is almost bloodless which is simply unacceptable when you hold it up against the snorefest of the story. This would be unforgivable if the movie was 60-70 minutes long but it’s just short of 120. Don’t subject yourself to this one.