Horror Movie Review: Bacterium (2006)

From writer/director Brett Piper comes Bacterium, a low-budget comedy horror that is so ‘up and down’, it’s hard to really know just how good or bad it really is.

Does it look like shit? Absolutely. Yet there are some really inventive effects here and there. Does it have acting that ranges from the absolute worst to amusingly bad? For sure. How about a score that has more in common with the b-movies of the 70s? It’s here and it’s glorious. Does it have a story that is utter nonsense and filled with more holes than Swiss cheese? Come on… you already know the answer.

The story surrounds a group of friends out in the woods playing paintball. They end up stumbling across an abandoned building which just happens to house an insane scientist. One who is trying to find a way to stop a governmental experiment gone disastrously wrong. A flesh-consuming bacterial has been unleashed. Should you be infected by it, you will quickly dissolve into a pile of infectious ooze. What happens then? The ooze multiplies and begins to increase in size. The threat is very real and it’s up to a military force to stop it.

Don’t let the age rating fool you, Bacterium has a fair amount of cheesy gore, gross effects, swearing and nudity. Likewise, don’t let the horrible start fool you into thinking there isn’t things to enjoy here. Not much but this is a case where the term ‘so bad it’s good’ actually can apply. You’ll find yourself wincing at every bit of bad acting (there’s a lot), horrible CGI effect or nonsensical plot development but in an enjoyable way. How much worse can it get? That’s the thought that will be running through heads and then suddenly, you’ll realise you’re kind of liking it.