Horror Movie Review: Aquaslash (2019)

Aquaslash is a horror movie that is literally just all build to one specific sequence. A sequence involving a water slide, some razor-sharp blades and a ton of young adults about to experience a very bad day.

Does that make it a recommendation? One particular bloody sequence that lasts an entertaining couple of minutes? It is good and looks fantastic but… it is a hell of a slog to get there. A slog involving vapid, unlikable and pointless characters. Characters that are the epitome of summer teen movie clichés.

Directed by Renaud Gauthier, who co-wrote it with Philip Kalin. The movie stars Nicolas Fontaine, Brittany Drisdelle, Madelline Harvey, Lanisa Dawn, Paul Zinno, Nick Walker, and Chip Chuipka.

The basic outline of the story surrounds a waterpark that is playing host to group of school graduates. Cue a ton of booze, sex and fights. It’s a miracle, more people don’t end up dead by the end just through the sheer level of partying that is going on here.

While everyone wants to have fun, the dark history of this waterpark is about to surface. A killer is on the loose and his goal is to disrupt the big waterslide race by killing everyone involved.

Aquaslash tries to take a tongue in cheek approach to the cliched characters and sexual antics that go on all over this waterpark. You can tell the film-makers are trying to wink towards the camera but the level of gratuitousness quickly stops it being entertaining. For example: why are a bunch of bikini-clad graduates washing cars in a waterpark? Is that funny?

We get it. Horror, in particular, horror from the 80s was terrible for having disposable characters there to show off flesh and nothing more. Aquaslash isn’t the first to point this out and won’t be the last. However, the point it is trying to make is lost completely when it continues to do the exact same thing throughout the entire movie.

It’s a slog, as we said and so very familiar.

That is until we reach the film’s big trick and credit where credit is due, it does usurp expectations. However, it’s just one bloody and violent sequence and when it ends, you can’t help but feel short-changed. Especially as the movie ends 5 minutes afterwards.

You can’t help but think… was that it?