Horror Movie Review: Amsterdamned (1988)

One hell of a hidden gem, Amsterdamned is a 1988 Dutch slasher film directed and written by Dick Maas, and starring Huub Stapel, Monique van de Ven, and Serge-Henri Valcke.

In the Dutch capital of Amsterdam, a killer is on the loose. One that uses the canals to hunt and murder. A killer that uses a wet suit and seems to choose their victims at random. Can detective Eric Visser find out who the mysterious murderer is and put a stop to their bloody rampage?

Pure slasher entertainment that will have you jumping up and down with some glee several times throughout. Hilariously entertaining at times, mysterious and horrifying at others, Amsterdamned is a movie that could only have been made in the 80s. All because it’s doing such wild and wacky things with what is just your average slasher flick.

For starters, the killer is unique and their motives are such a mystery that any payoff would inevitably leave you scratching your head. Which Amsterdamned certainly does leave you doing. However, the journey to that point is so entertaining that it totally doesn’t matter.

Do you want a hard-boiled detective that doesn’t take any shit but is also trying to raise his young daughter on his own? Check. Do you want two old friends reconnecting to work on the case even though one stole the other’s girlfriend? Check. Do you want a killer who doesn’t just murder people but displays their bodies in gruesome fashion? Seriously… check!

How about a speedboat chase through the canals of Amsterdam? Fights underwater and a pursuit through the sewers? Check, bloody check!

All this done with a cynical tongue in cheek outlook, anytime Amsterdamned looks to be slowing down, it throws in something wild to bring things back up to speed. It’s a hell of a ride, drawing inspiration from every slasher that came before but taking note of what was happening to the sub-genre around this period.

The word that keeps coming up is ‘entertaining’. Which for a slasher released in 1988 is seriously impressive. A total hidden gem that deserves a ton more attention.