Game Review: Zombie Apocalypse (Nintendo Switch)

Regular purveyors of the Nintendo Switch eshop will know that it’s a storefront beginning to resemble the dregs of Steam. An open platform has resulted in an indie-game overload where scrupulous ‘developers’ shovel anything and everything on to it, in the hope of making a quick buck through unsuspecting gamers. It’s how a literal calculator has somehow ended up on there, with the hilarious price point of £8.09.

Of course, this is the negative side of things. On a more positive note, it has allowed developers who might struggle to get their game on to a home console platform, a chance to duke it out with the big companies. They have the chance to be noticed and, thanks to the Switch’s regular sales, a chance to sell a ton more copies.

It’s just us, the gamers, that have to wade through the mess that is the Switch eshop (seriously, how is there still not a basket?) to find the quality games.

Which brings us to this game. This absurd excuse of a game. One of, if not the worst games we have ever played. Not just on the Switch but across all platforms harking back to the days when we first picked up a controller.

Yes, Zombie Apocalypse really is that bad.

The description in the eshop reads as follows (note – the errors come from the description):

Horrible zombies are attacking, as the most rewarded zombie fighter, you’ve been designated to find, blast and kill them anywhere they hide.

Make you way from cemetery to city suburbs and desolated landscapes for mankind relief.

Zombie Apocalypse Attack is a blasting/shooting game in full 3D where emphasis has been put to fast-paced action. 10 different guns to choose from.

Will you survive zombie inferno this time again?

So, let’s break this down in our review of this utter trash. Firstly, horrible zombies are not attacking. They are moving from left to right in the background, occasionally stopping to throw a weapon at you as though they’re enemies from the House of the Dead. The description does get something right though, they are horrible but that’s the horrendous character models and repetitive sound effects.

Are you a rewarded zombie fighter? Maybe, you’ll never know as there is no story. Just level after level of shooting zombies.

From cemetery to city suburbs and desolated landscapes. Yes, the game does feature all of these but done in a hilariously poor way. A stock photo, yes, a photo with one or two Unity engine assets thrown haphazardly in the forefront. It looks so bad. However it’s not the worst thing about the game, amazingly.

That comes from the next part of the description.

Zombie Apocalypse Attack is a blasting/shooting game in full 3D where emphasis has been put to fast-paced action. 10 different guns to choose from.

Where to even start with this one… yes, this is a shooting game, but the core mechanic barely works. You can choose from a selection of weapons, but it hardly matters. All the zombies die in one hit provided you can hit them and if they actually show up. With no crosshairs and a ‘left to right’ control mechanic, aiming to hit a zombie is way harder than you think. Should you not be able to kill one before it throws a weapon at you, consider yourself hit as shooting the flying item is near-impossible. You’re more likely to do it by accident than anything else. After only 10 minutes of this, you’ll be sickened by just how low-quality it is.

Even on sale, this isn’t worth buying. If it was free to play, we’d be telling you to avoid. Simply put Zombie Apocalypse is a shameful display that has no redeeming features.