EP Review: Various Artists – Slashing Through The Snow (Self Released)

Released December 24th 2014 to little or no fanfare it seems, Slashing Through the Snow is a deathcore Christmas themed compilation EP. Featuring Vulvodynia, Bationmaster, Before the Harvest, Harijan, Cerebus and…. Cunt Cuntly.

Yeah, I’ve not heard of most of these guys either, although we are very familiar with Vulvodynia. No matter though, deathcore Christmas tracks? Sign us up! We love Christmas and we love rock and metal Christmas music even more. Especially when bands are taking it seriously and not just doing the same boring covers.

Which brings us to Slashing Through the Snow. Six bands not taking it too seriously but pulling out 6 variations on classic Christmas tracks and 1 cover of a famous hit. Kicking off with Vulvodynia’s ‘Twas the Night Before Crushmas.

Where the screaming and howling mixed with blast beats and boiling riffs set the warm Christmas scene perfectly. It’s got one of the best breakdowns you’ll hear in a Christmas track, that much is for sure. A twisted but thoroughly enjoyable start.

It’s up to Bationmaster to remind you of just what the season is about with a glowing tribute to the birthday boy himself, Jesus Christ. I am sure he would approve of the filthy guttural noise that emanates from this track. Probably the most vomit-inducing version of Jingle Bells you’ll ever hear.

One of the best tracks on the EP comes next though with Before the Harvest’s 12 Slays of Christmas. A version that keeps the main melody layered throughout their brutal blast for that extra Christmassy feel. This is how you celebrate the season!

Although Harijan have something to say about celebrating the season with their anthemic Merry Muthafuckin’ Christmas. Something for the whole family to sing along too provided that you have lungs made of steels and demonically possessed voices. The deathcore is strong in this one and you can easily envision a jolly holly pit opening during it.

Still embodying the chaos of the holiday, Cerebus throw out a killer version of Jingle Bells called Satan Bells. A crushing effort that should be the go-to version from this day onwards. That it sounds so much like the original track while being utter filth is just the icing on the mince pie.

Finally, it’s down to Cunt Cuntly (what a name!) for their version of Frosty the Snowman. Picture getting a snowball to the face. It hits, your nose breaks, your lips split, your cheekbones are shattered, and your eye sockets crushed. Through the blinding pain you can just make out that inside the snowball was a large rock. That is what Cunt Cuntly’s Frosty the Snowman is albeit with a kick-ass guitar solo too!

Followed by their cover of everyone’s least favourite Christmas track, Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas Is You. It sucks like finding that a present that you were sure was a PS5 was actually just socks. To be fair to Cunt Cuntly though, their deathcore version is a vast improvement on the original.

This EP is far more fun then it has any right to be and credit to all the bands involved for giving it their all. Merry fucking deathcore Christmas!

Various Artists – Slashing Through the Snow Full Track Listing:

1. Vulvodynia – ‘Twas The Night Before Crushmas
2. Bationmaster – Happy Birthday Jesus
3. Before the Harvest – 12 Slays Of Christmas
4. Harijan – Merry Muthafuckin’ Christmas
5. Cerebus – Satan Bells
6. Cunt Cuntly – Frosty The Snowman
7. Cunt Cuntly – All I Want For Christmas Is You (Mariah Carey Cover)

Links

Bandcamp | Vulvodynia – Facebook | Bationmaster – Facebook | Before the Harvest – Facebook | Cerebus – Facebook | Cunt Cuntly – Facebook