Horror Movie Review: Clown Motel (2019)

Two different groups, one a bunch of ghost hunters and the other a bachelorette party end up at an abandoned motel. There they make the unfortunate discovery that the place is haunted by the souls of clowns. Clowns that are evil, twisted and only satisfied when they have killed everyone who visits the motel.

Why? Many years before the motel was the home to a circus of clowns. They lived in happiness and peace and got their money from a nearby goldmine. It’s that goldmine that saw a bunch of rednecks turn up wanting what wasn’t theirs. They set the motel on fire killing all the clowns and thus we have a load of vengeful spirits.

Will any of our cast be able to survive the Clown Motel?

This is a rough one which is a real shame as the concept is sound and it’s got a fairly interesting cast. Namely Martin Klebba, Ari Lehman and Tony Moran. The latter two having the distinct honour of playing the first Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers respectively. As well as that we have the composer (John Massari) of Killer Klowns from Outer Space, the creator of Final Destination (Jeffrey Reddick) and director Joseph Kelly who has done a host of stuff all over.

It really couldn’t miss…yet it does.

No-one puts in a good performance here. While the acting is terrible, it’s OK at best and it needed to be more then that. Especially considering how much the movie devolves as it goes on. After the interesting opening, it just turns into a badly-paced slasher horror. One that doesn’t even have good kills and gore to entertain.

Far too many times kills are done off screen and what you do see is the disappointing aftermath and CGI blood splatter. It constantly reminds you that you’re watching a super low-budget horror.

The longer it goes on, the less seems to happen with there being no further developments surrounding the clowns and their history. Focus is on the survivors who are a mix of forgettable and unlikable characters.

There’s no real reason to route for anyone and attempts to create internal conflict fall extremely short.

By time the credits roll it just ends up feeling like a waste of time.