Horror Movie Review: Ghastlies (2016)

In a questionable decision, Ghastlies seems to be inspired by the 1988 comedy horror, Hobgoblins. A questionable decision seeing as Hobgoblins is widely considered to be one of the worst movies ever made. You can read our review of that movie here.

As well as Hobgoblins it also takes prompts from the Ghoulies series but falls woefully short.

The plot, if you can call it that, sees four sorority sisters accidentally unleash a group of ghastly ghouls while on a weekend getaway in the country. The ghouls set about causing chaos and killing everyone they come into contact with.

It’s barebones and stretched to tearing point, a film that can’t sustain its running time so pads it out with idiotic filler. Filler such as a lengthy aerobics scene and pointless conversations between the main cast.

The acting is pretty horrendous with two bike cops and a pizza deliver guy standing out as the absolute worst. These characters seem to be comic relief but say nothing or do anything that could be called amusing.

The worst thing about this dross though are the ghastlies, toys that look exactly like that. There is no attempt to make them look anything but fake plastic toys. It’s clear that when they’re on screen someone is just holding them up.

With such a lack of effort, it’s no surprise that the gory moments also fail miserably. Think a ketchup bottle being squirted around and you’re somewhere in the ballpark. Even then it’s easy to believe that someone with an inch of talent could make better use of ketchup as a blood substitute.

Ghastlies had a goal and it is clear they were aiming to make a ‘so bad it’s good’ kind of horror comedy. What they fail to realise is that you can’t force it. A ‘so bad it’s good’ movie is something for an audience to decide, not the filmmaker. Trying to do this will just result in a bad movie and that is exactly what Ghastlies is. A very bad movie.