Horror Movie Review: The Nun (2005)

Way before The Conjuring 2 creeped movie audiences with its demonic nun, an unknown Spanish-made horror came out that has somewhat of a similar premise. In that a group of people are terrorised by a demonic nun. It’s called The Nun, was directed by Luis De La Madrid and came out in 2005. A whole 11 years before The Conjuring 2…well that’s a little embarrassing, isn’t it?

Now, I’m not suggesting that The Conjuring 2 ripped off this movie. This demon nun is different and the story told here is as generic as it could possibly be. However, it sure looks a hell of a lot like The Conjuring 2’s version and with a stand-alone movie also called The Nun coming out in 2018, I’m sure those involved will be quietly hoping no-one notices this movie exists.

Sorry about that, folks. We dredge every corner of the swamp to find horror. This movie exists and is all kinds of awful.

The plot, bloody hell, the plot. If you’ve seen any ‘people are terrorised by ghost/spirit/demon and need to unearth a secret to stop it’ horror movie before then you know the story here. The Nun, knowing that its big reveal can’t be really be hidden goes for the tried and tested formula of dumping several twists in. Each one as pointless and forgettable as the last.

Sister Ursula is a cruel and twisted nun who makes the lives of the girls under her care miserable. Late one night though, the holy one goes too far and the girls end up killing her, dumping her body in a pond nearby. They swear to keep it a secret always.

Many, many years later on though the pond is drained releasing the spirit of the nun who now has vengeance on her mind. You may be wondering why, being a spirit, she had to wait for the pond to be drained. Don’t worry, that’s explained in some nonsense about the pond being filled with holy water.

It’s one of many questions this film leaves you with as there are quite a few scenes that will make you scratch your head. My personal favourite? The lead-girl looks out the window of a plane mid-flight to see the nun gripping on to the wing. Isn’t she a ghost? She had to take the same flight? Utterly stupid and unintentionally hilarious.

Those moments aside, there is little else to enjoy here aside from some nice gory deaths. For a ghostly horror, the film can be quite graphic at times with one scene that sees arms cut off by a falling lift looking particularly good.

The plot is so rubbish though. By the numbers and most of the acting is as bland as dry toast. The moment the credits roll which also come about abruptly, you’ll have forgotten almost every moment of this near 2-hour film.

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