Horror Movie Review: Nail Gun Massacre (1985)

I praise the 80’s era of horror often for the imagination involved & the risks taken, anything & everything was game. Unfortunately, it didn’t always result in quality horror movies & more often than not we ended up with movies like Nail Gun Massacre.

One of the worst movies ever made, the only real positive about this crap-fest is that it reaches such levels of awfulness that it almost becomes enjoyable…almost.

The movie opens with a rape. *sigh*

A woman is gang-raped by six men. Who is she? Who knows! What was the situation that led to this horrible event? Who knows! Just who are the rapists? Who knows!

Who knows, who cares. The opening scene lasts far too long before jumping 5 months later where a killer is now extracting revenge on the men using a nail gun. This killer wears a motorcycle helmet to hide their face & uses a voice changer to disguise their voice. You would think a killer wearing a motorcycle helmet would just be a silent killer but no, this person loves to talk, loves to make awful, awful puns.

Which really doesn’t work if you consider this is supposed to be vengeance for a rape! What tone are they are going for!? Comedy in a rape revenge movie?

Not that it matters, the killer is predictable (the person pretty much announces it halfway through the film) & the reveal a total ‘meh’ moment. The acting in this movie is shocking, hilariously shocking. It’s hard to turn away from the screen purely because of how poorly dialogue is spoken, how poorly pain is shown & how awful the puns are.

There isn’t much gore, the camera cutting away before the nail can hit the victim. Only showing the result, which isn’t anything to get excited about. Being a low budget horror, the expectation isn’t high in that department anyway.

So, what is good about Nail Gun Massacre?

Absolutely nothing. It doesn’t deserve the ‘so bad it’s good’ accolade because it is such a boring & standard slasher that can’t decide what kind it wants to be. Rape revenge? Or tongue in cheek horror? Neither works in the end.