Horror Movie Review: Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies (2013)

Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies…if you’re going in expecting anything beyond a low budget, terrible zombie flick that’s only entertaining feature are the wrestlers involved then this movie isn’t for you.

Starring several WWE Hall of Famers (as well as other famous wrestling faces, oh & Shane Douglas), Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies is as bad as you would expect. Possibly even worse.

Opening with a montage of wrestling taking place inside a near empty school gym we see Shane Douglas (The Franchise! Get used to hearing that!) ‘accidentally kill another wrestler in the ring with a tombstone piledriver.

Sometime later we see a promoter being offered a deal by the shadiest of shady businessmen. This guy wants Shane Douglas for a private wrestling show in an abandoned prison (if that doesn’t start alarm bells ringing, nothing will). The promoter upon seeing the cash decides to throw in a load of other wrestlers too for no apparent reason.

For the money, the shady guy (called Angus) also gets:

Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Rowdy Roddy Piper
Kurt Angle (for about 5 minutes of the film)
Matt Hardy
Reby Sky

As well as a whole host of indie wrestling stars. It’s a stacked card promising some entertaining matches. Well it would be if anyone but Shane Douglas & Hacksaw gave a damn about being in the movie.

For reasons that escape me, Shane Douglas is the star of this film & he puts his all into it. Playing a good-guy (babyface) & a bad-guy (heel) with gusto. He’s both hilarious (not intentionally) & annoying. Both him & the director seems obsessed with making out as though he is a way bigger deal in wrestling then he actually is!

When the wrestlers arrive at the prison they discover it’s just been a ruse. It’s all about Angus getting his revenge on Shane. You see, Angus is the brother of the wrestler Shane killed at the beginning of the movie. Angus has been granted powers from hell (don’t know why, don’t care why) & can now create zombies. His horde attack the superstars resulting in many deaths (mostly the indie guys) & some hilarious wrestling moves done on zombies.

The big name wrestlers (Piper, Douglas, Hardy etc.) all manage to fight them off & escape into another part of the prison but Angus won’t be defeated that easily!

Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies is just all kinds of ‘wow’. The acting is diabolically bad, the effects so low budget they could have been made by a student & the story makes no sense. What it can boast though is a calibre of actual wrestling legends. Even if you’re not a fan of grappling you’ll know many of these names & faces.

That’s why it’s so disappointing to see the likes of Piper phone in such a poor performance. Anyone who has seen the man’s work in the ring or his outstanding work with the horror gem, They Live knows Piper has got it. Here though he almost sleepwalks his way through the film doing very little. The passion that you expect from Piper is missing & he just comes across as an old man who can’t be bothered (rest in peace, Hot-Rod).

Matt Hardy & Reby Sky spend most of the movie attached to each other’s faces (she would go on to become his wife in real life). Hacksaw is criminally under-used (although it’s great to see him use his famous 2×4 to kill zombies) & Kurt Angle is nothing but a cameo.

Angle says a few lines, wrestles some zombies (he does his ankle lock submission on one & rips its foot off) then gets killed & turned into a zombie. His makeup is shockingly bad & after getting slammed in the ring disappears completely.

As you can tell to enjoy any of this movie you’ve got to both know these wrestlers & have love for them & their careers. There isn’t anything else to enjoy, it’s gory but it’s really terrible looking (except Hacksaw) & it’s ending is pretty insulting.

Worth watching for a death that involves the 3D (Dudley Death Drop)!