Top 10 things you had to hear in Resident Evil (Original)

Resident Evil is famous for being responsible for some of the most cringe-inducing & cheesiest lines of dialogue in any game. Its poor voice acting is now considered to be all part of the games charm.

Here are 10 pieces of dialogue taken from the series overall that just sounded…awful but still make you smile.

10 – The opening movie when Jill shouts out Joseph’s name.

The opening FMV is famous for many reasons but Jill’s terrible call for Joseph when he is getting attacked by the dogs is so bad you have to wonder if the actress involved was given any kind of work afterwards.

9 – Chris in response to Rebecca asking about Wesker’s whereabouts, “He’s sleeping with the ultimate failure”.

What does that even mean? Has Chris forgotten that Rebecca didn’t actually see Tyrant so would not know what he means by the ultimate failure? Does he mean the literal sleeping with or did Rebecca’s mind conjure up an image of Wesker & Tyrant getting a little too close?

8 – Barry after meeting up with Jill gives her some ammo describing as “It’s a weapon, It’s really powerful, especially against living things”.

First of Barry you gave me rounds for the grenade launcher not an actual weapon. Secondly as we are dealing with lots of dead things in the mansion does that mean it won’t work on them? Aren’t all weapons powerful against the living? Most of Resident Evil’s awful dialogue is spoken by Barry…

7 – As Jill looks for a way down into a dark pit Barry arrives & announces that he has a rope that she can use. She answers him by saying “oh well then I can go down using the rope”.

The ‘no shit Sherlock’ award goes to Jill Valentine & even the master of bad dialogue, Barry must have raised an eyebrow over that one…oh wait, actually he starts it all off here!

6 – Stumbling across Richard brings about some of the best lines in the game including my favourite…”This house is too dangerous. There are terrible demons…Ouch”.

My absolute favourite bit of dialogue in any Resident Evil & it is actually followed by a brilliant line about a snake being a monster. Richard takes the bad dialogue crown off Barry for his dead-pan delivery of the word ‘ouch’.

5 – After Barry rescues Jill from the crusher room he makes an awful joke “That was too close! You were almost a Jill sandwich!” Jill replies by saying “You’re right. Barry, thanks for saving my life.”

No Jill he is not right! I mean considering you were moments from death the joke is in terrible taste but surely he could have come up with something better then that. A Jill pancake maybe? The most comical thing about it is the way Jill just matter of factly says “you’re right”.

4 – Chris & Jill get to the heliport but are being chased by monsters. Chris decides to stay & hold them off saying “Ladies, first. Go first, Jill. Give me a chance to play nice guy”.

Wait, so you don’t normally play nice guy Chris? The other S.T.A.R.S don’t like you? Weren’t you playing nice with Rebecca throughout the game? If being a nice guy means holding off a horde of mansion monsters then count me out.

3 – As Barry & Jill prepare to split up & search for Chris & Wesker, Barry has this to say “We should start from the first floor, ok? And, Jill, here’s a lock pick. It might be handy if you, the master of unlocking, take it with you.

What is master of unlocking? I guess it means she can pick locks. If she is the master of unlocking then why wouldn’t she already have lock picks on her presuming that is one of her S.T.A.R.S’s skills! Even still a lot of Resident Evil dialogue is about stating the obvious & here we see it full swing…yes, Barry it would be handy!

2 – During Jill’s side of Resident Evil the opening scene sees some interaction between Wesker & Jill as they realise Chris is missing. Jill goes to go back out the front door & Wesker just about manages to spit out the words “Stop it! Don’t open that door!”. It gets worse when after hearing a gunshot Jill wonders who it could be & Wesker mysteriously says “maybe it’s…Chris”.

Come on Jill don’t you remember what you just ran from! Wesker’s tone might sound like he doesn’t give a shit but he actually might! I love that pause for effect there, it’s so mysterious. Like it could be Chris & clearly he is in trouble or it could be something totally unrelated.

1 – Jill is stumbling through the underground tunnels when she stumbles across Enrico from Bravo team. Combined the 2 of them manage to work out that he is, in fact, Enrico. He starts by asking “is that Jill?” She then asks “is that voice Enrico?” He takes a really long pause before answering “yes”.

Was he unsure of telling her? We know he has trust issues as the conversation continues but by then we quite clearly see that Jill was standing barely a metre away from him. How did they not know it was each other?