Horror Movie Review: Don’t Look Up (2009)

Directed by Fruit Chan, Don’t Look Up is an American remake of the 1996 Hideo Nakata film of the same name (Joyû-rei). The original was smart and frightening, and set the stage for Nakata’s Ringu in 1998, one of the most important horror films ever made. This remake? An incoherent mess that frustrates and bores.

It tries and fails to tell a story about a long-lost film and a group who set out to finish the project. A project that saw the original director, Béla Olt (Eli Roth) and everyone involved in it, just disappear leaving the film unfinished. It’s a story well worth exploring, but director Marcus Reed (Reshad Strik) has other reasons to head to Romania and the location of where the original film was being made. He’s been having visions, but he’s also fallen out of favour in Hollywood, and sees this as his way back in.

Of course, it’s not long before issues start to arise on set, including some accidents, and the closer they get to finishing the film, the more dangerous things become. Does someone not want the film to be finished or is this all related to an ancient curse?

While that synopsis might have made sense to you, that’s an attempt to simplify the egregiously complex and stupid story that makes up this film. One that overcomplicates simple things to the point where everything stops making sense. A freaking cursed film production that may or may not be haunted, it shouldn’t be any more complicated than that. Yet, the longer it goes on, the more maddening it becomes, especially as we keep having to see pointless visions that serve to only pad the runtime and deliver ineffective jumps scares.

If that wasn’t bad enough, they disrupt the pace of the film, which is already straining under the weight of so few interesting things actually happening. Which might sound like hyperbole, but rest assured, Don’t Look Up is incredibly slow and filled with swathes of nothing. Unless you consider dull detours that focus on the cast trying to get the production back on track, something. These scenes aren’t used to further the main plotline, nor are they used to add depth to any characters, they’re the equivalent of ‘b-roll’.

Expecting ghostly action? Think again. Don’t Look Up thinks it is crafting intrigue and tension around a mystery that may or may not be supernatural, but all it is doing is boring its audience. This means the actual supernatural aspects don’t fully materialise until the end of the film, and of course, the god-awful CGI doesn’t make it worthwhile. Playing it coy would be fine if the build was exciting and the payoff was solid, but that’s not the case here.

Slowly, but surely, the film drags on and on, grinding to a halt, before finally ending in lacklustre fashion. Just go watch the original if you want something effective, this remake isn’t worth a second of anyone’s time.