Horror Movie Review: Free to a Bad Home (2023)

Free to a Bad Home is a movie you might find yourself thinking and talking about once it has finished. Thoughts and conversation that are likely to revolve around the question of ‘what the hell was that?’

Written and directed by Kameron and Scott Hale, Free to a Bad Home is an anthology horror where every story links together and the wraparound serves more as a prologue and epilogue.

A couple, walking down the street, come across a box of trinkets labelled ‘Free to a Good Home’. Of course, they help themselves to a few items, with the focus being on the ring that the man slips into his pocket.

This is the set-up, and it’s not a great one. The purpose of this box and the explanation of the items does not come until the final segment. Making the next hour-plus of the film very confusing.

Although it doesn’t start off that way as the first segment, titled Amy, is decent even if its ending is telegraphed very early on.

Amy (Miranda Nieman) has hit the bottle hard since her husband left her and is spending some time alone at a remote house in the country. However, she might not be as alone as she thinks she is.

Miranda Nieman does a good job of portraying the problems Amy is going through with very little dialogue, and the sinister figure that appears to be haunting her, does add some creepy vibes. Alas, the arrival of her sister Jill (Hayley Sunshine) drags this segment down as the pair have little chemistry and the scene of them getting drunk together goes on for far too long. Not only that, at this stage, most will have worked out what is going on and the segment continues to try and play it coy.

Had this been 5-10 minutes shorter, it would have been far more enjoyable. Something that becomes a common theme throughout the film.

The next segment is called Ryan, and focuses on a thief (Jake C. Young) as he painstakingly explores a house he has broken into. Room to room, door to door… any good will that Free to a Bad Home had built up will vanish here. It’s absurd just how much time is spent watching the thief wander this house.

When he finally goes to the basement, it looks like it might get good, as he finds a big safe that he can’t open, and a filthy woman chained up to the wall. Unfortunately, the hilarious under reaction to finding this woman by the thief character derails the brief bit of momentum the film had. Then they proceed to talk, as she offers him entry to the safe for her freedom.

Also, he then helps her get ready for her night out. Something we, again, witness in excruciatingly slow detail.

It’s boring and it’s confusing, and then along comes the third and final segment, Julia, which also happens to be the longest. Arguably because so much of it is filmed in slow-motion.

Julia (Olivia Dennis) and her friends are going to a Halloween party, one taking place in the middle of nowhere, and decide to drop acid on route. This car ride, their innate babble, and each of them taking drugs, is shown in lengthy detail again. What should have been two-minutes is dragged out to over ten.

Then they arrive at the party, walk around and talk, before arriving at a party that in no way looks like a party, and then weird s**t starts to happen. Amongst drawn-out conversations and slasher style chases.

It is mind-numbingly boring and even some trippy visuals can’t save this segment.

So, what’s been going on? Well, this segment and the epilogue reveal that the box of free stuff holds cursed items possessed by demons. There it is. Doesn’t it feel worth it?

Free to a Bad Home is poor, simply because it commits the cardinal horror sin of being so damn dull. If you do manage to make it through to the very end, there is no sense of satisfaction to be found. It’s slow, clumsy, confusing, and over-burdened by dialogue that leaves no impact on the story or characters.