Horror Movie Review: Amityville Christmas Vacation (2022)

It was inevitable, wasn’t it? There have been so many movies taking the Amityville name, attempting to cash in on its ever-diminishing value, while having nothing to do with the original horror, that one based around the festive season was always going to happen. In fact, it’s crazy that it hasn’t happened before.

Enter director Steve Rudzinski to fix that, churning out the script too, alongside Bill Murphy, and starring in the movie as Wally.

No hate though, the man has given us plenty of black horror comedy with the likes of Red Christmas (previously known as Dead Christmas when we reviewed it), CarousHELL and its sequels, and Shingles: The Movie. He’s a good writer, solid director, and decent actor, so we would call ourselves fans.

Seeing that he is behind Amityville Christmas Vacation and that it’s a festive film means, before even a single minute is watched, this movie already surpasses some of the other films that use the name, Amityville. Yes, some of them are that bad and you can read our definitive ranking (of what we’ve seen) of those films here.

Unfortunately, Amityville Christmas Vacation is not a good movie, and its problems are made all the worse by the fact that its an entry in Rudzinski ‘Meowy’ series of films. A series of comedy movies about Wally, a bumbling cop, and his cat. A fact that only became apparent afterwards.

Does it matter? Not really, as it has its own self-contained story, but it sure makes a few scenes make a bit more sense.

Wally has won a contest that he never entered, a vacation in Amityville! So, along with this furry buddy, he packs up his suitcase and heads off to enjoy the festive season. Unfortunately for Wally, he has been chosen as a sacrifice and the house he is staying in is haunted by a ghost who delights in killing anyone that stays there.

Oh, it’s not the actual infamous house, but a house across the road, of course. Yet, what no-one planned was the fact that Wally and the ghost would fall in love. Now, Wally must find a way to save her before she is taken away by a ghost hunter.

Is Amityville: Christmas Vacation a comedy? Is it a romantic comedy? What it certainly is not, is a horror movie. Which kind of means we shouldn’t be covering it, but we’re on a mission to see every movie with Amityville in the title, so this had to be coverd. It does have a ghost in it, so that counts!

Yes, this is as dumb as it sounds and try as Rudzinski does, it just isn’t funny. Yet, there’s something charming about it and most of that comes from Wally and the Ghost who are surprisingly adorable together. You might find yourself rooting for them as the film goes on. All of this would be so much more enjoyable if this was an outright romantic comedy, but instead it is so fixated on being stupid, it frustrates.

If that wasn’t bad enough, it’s also too long at 47 minutes. This should have been a tidy short at around 15 minutes and it might have resulted in something more enjoyable. Instead, it starts to drag, and the latter portion involving the ghost hunter, is completely forgettable.

If you’re hoping for an Amityville Christmas horror movie, you’re not going to find it here, unfortunately.