Horror Movie Review: The Loch Ness Horror (2023)

A horror movie about the Loch Ness monster? One that stars the wonderful May Kelly? Sign us up! It sounds like silly and fun horror. Perfect for a dark night in with some drinks and food.

Which makes the final result that is The Loch Ness Horror all the more disappointing. Not only is not much fun, but it’s also not particularly interesting either. It’s not the worst film you’ll ever see, but it’s far from a good film either.

Written and directed by Tyler-James, The Loch Ness Horror asks the eternal question – what if The Loch Ness Monster was real and it was deadly?

Nessie does exist, but no-one in this film knows that yet. Well, aside from some people on a ship that are soon to be dead. Once the beastie has had her way with them, some London folks decide to send a group to investigate the missing ship. A group that includes some mercenary types, making it abundantly clear that the reason for going may not be to do good.

It’s just one of the undefined elements of this script, alongside the roles of characters in this ‘search and rescue’ mission, and the beast itself. Yes, The Loch Ness Horror really struggles to tell anything confidently or competently.

Which, of course, has a detrimental effect on its watchability, and the actors. who have little direction. May Kelly is a good actor, we’ve seen her in plenty, and when she’s unconvincing, it’s the script that gets the blame.

It really doesn’t help that there’s not a lot of Nessie in this movie and when she is involved, her threat is really muted by her size. Although the way characters act, you could be led to think otherwise. The choice to keep the beast hidden seems to hinge on the visual quality more than anything, but that doesn’t explain the reason why a mini beast is given so much screen time. The funny thing is, the visuals aren’t terrible, especially for a movie like this.

The longer The Loch Ness Horror goes on, the worse it gets. There’s a point, surprisingly early on, where it seems to run out ideas and from then, it feels like its simply treading water until it can limp over the line. Ending in unsatisfying and uninteresting fashion.

There’s a sense that everyone could have done better here, all it needed was a more interesting story. There is plenty of talent here, it’s just being wasted on a story that will bore most.