Horror Movie Review: R.I.P. Van Winkle (2022)

Written and directed by Frank Durant (alongside Mark Polonia), R.I.P. Van Winkle is a horror movie with very little horror. Where talking about perceived threats or potential horror replaces any actual threat or horror. When it does come along, you’re in too much of a stupor to care.

Starring Leira Turner, Mackenna Wysocki, James Carolus, Elizabeth Bays, Nina Dicker and Jeff Kirkendall. R.I.P. Van Winkle sees a young woman discover she has inherited a small resort in the Catskills. She was quite surprised to find that she inherited it from her grandfather as her past is something of a mystery to even her.

Yet, she decides to make a go of it. To turn the resort into a thriving place for tourists and earn a living for herself. Even if it means doing it all on her own. Which is literally what she does when guests begin to show up. A menagerie of guests, all with their own quirks and demands. That’s the least of this new resort owner’s problems though, her past is about to reveal itself and it’s unusual to say the least.

The stink of Polonia Brothers Entertainment is all over this film. Mark Polonia churns out terrible horror movies at a rate that is simply indecent. Hard working, yes, but when the end results are often so bad, does that deserve respect? We’ve seen way too many Polonia movies and some have been given the lowest rating possible on this website. Yet, we’re always game for having our mind changed. R.I.P. Van Winkle doesn’t do that even if it’s not a terrible movie. Maybe that’s the influence of Frank Durant?

R.I.P. Van Winkle is saved from being a terrible movie because of some of its watchable cast. Not all, in fact only a few, but the main ones are watchable. That, and the location/idea is fairly nice to look at. That’s it though. Everything else is trash.

It’s cheap, and it looks and feels cheap. As already stated above, it is barely a horror movie and even when it gets going, it isn’t scary or tense. The patter and banter of the characters suggest that the film is trying to be funny but not a single ‘joke’ manages to land. 40 minutes in and you might be scratching your head as to what exactly this film is supposed to be, provided you’ve managed to stay awake. The story might be hilariously contrived and nonsensical but it’s not interesting.

It says a lot that the most positive thing that can be said about the movie is that when compared to many other films that link to Polonia Brothers Entertainment, R.I.P. Van Winkle isn’t as offensively bad.