Horror Movie Review: The Trees Have Eyes (2020)

The Trees Have Eyes is directed by Jordan Pacheco, who laughably wrote the story with George Kent Guarino and David Langill. It stars Tony Moran, Timothy Patrick Quill and David Michael Carpenter, and is a troubled movie. Originally going under the title of Dead Bounty (which makes much more sense) and filmed way back in 2013. The Trees Have Eyes sat on the shelf for 7 years. Finally seeing the light of day in 2020 via ITN distribution.

Should they have bothered? The short answer is no. The long answer requires a bit more of an in-depth look, even if staying awake to actually get enough details is a big ask.

From the start, The Trees Have Eyes gets it wrong. Introducing us to a group of bounty hunters searching the woods at night for a fugitive. These are supposed to be the good guys, yet they are cruel, sexist, racist and possibly unhinged. The film makes it impossible to like them, so when they find their man but then get attacked by zombies, you can’t help but cheer on the undead.

Of course, these no-nonsense (it’s how the film wants to portray them) characters are hardly the victims. They are badass, in the most eye-rolling of ways. Instead, the zombie chow mainly comes from a group of young campers who follow the set rules of campers in the woods in a horror movie. Characters? Behave. In some cases, you don’t even get a name before they are munched upon. The ones who do get names are detestable anyway.

Imagine that? A film where every single character is unlikable. Which could work if the zombie side of things was perhaps entertaining but that’s not the case. Shot at night in the woods, even the lack of light can’t hide the cheap effects and make-up. Hoping for a bloodbath? Think again as The Trees Have Eyes is limited on gore and when it does bother, it doesn’t impress.

There’s almost nothing good to say aside from the fact that it is shot well enough and the acting isn’t the worst. Which such limited characters, few could have really done anything amazing. Ultimately though, it’s a thoroughly forgettable and uninteresting horror movie.