Top 10 Things People Need To Stop Doing At Gigs

If you’re a regular attendee at shows regardless of if they are rock & metal related I suspect a few of these on the list will touch a nerve. If you do any of them…well then, sort your shit out, you’re making the gig worse for someone else.

10 – Taking off clothes while drenched in sweat.

Some people say the worst feeling in the world is a cold, wet dog’s nose pushed up against your leg first thing in the morning. Those people haven’t had a sweaty pit goer brush past them. It’s disgusting…just keep your god-damn clothes on if you’re that sweaty.

9 – Bringing their life & its contents in a backpack.

I get that some people have bags at gigs…the ladies have bags of varying sizes & most teenage boys have some form of handbag too. I’ve had a bag on me sometimes at a gig…it is annoying as hell but nothing compared to those people who turn up with their entire lives contents in a backpack. They walk around ignoring the fact that they have this huge bag & constantly swing it around into you or lean back into you with it.

8 – Looking for a fight.

Every gig has one, some dude who looks ready to kill & is waiting for someone to knock into him or brush past him & he is going to start a fight. They are almost always exclusively men & refusing to move even an inch from their chosen spot on the floor. If they do move it is to do something to try & incite a fight…looking for an excuse.

7 – Doing ill-advised stage dives/jumping off balconies.

Now I’m not against stage diving in its purest form, I alongside 4 other dudes got flattened by some fat chick that dove off the Underworld stage during Thy Art Is Murder onto us. It was ok because we saw her coming & expected it (even if we couldn’t hold her up – she was huge). The problem lies with people who do it without people knowing, feet first or into a sparse crowd who can’t hold you up.

Unsurprisingly most people don’t want another person landing on them from distance & height. Think before you jump & whatever you do don’t jump off a god-damn balcony…no one is going to catch you from that height!

6 – Touching up the opposite sex.

Anyone that takes the opportunity during a pit, stage dive or general busy-ness to ‘cop a feel’ deserves the biggest slap. You are scum & clearly it is the only physical contact that you’re going to get from the opposite sex. I’m sure that 95% of this is male on female but it does happen to men as well. Come on people; keep your hands to yourself for the duration of the gig.

5 – Throwing beer/water or bodily fluids.

Throwing anything at a gig is bad news, there really is no need & it says a lot about the type of person you are that you actively want to this. What I will never understand though are those people who throw beer…what an absolute waste & hardly cheap either.

If you’re hit a fest all you can do is close your eyes & hope it was beer & not someone’s pee.

4 – Hating the support & trying to ruin it for everybody else.

Have you ever been near people who absolutely hate the support band & want to make sure they & everyone around them knows it? If it’s childish stuff such as turning their back or sticking their middle finger up in the air then no real harm done (that just makes them look like a dick). It’s when they resort to screaming insults at every chance they get or start throwing stuff.

3 – Trying to hurt someone in a pit.

I hate these kinds of people & I hold them responsible for the lack of proper pits nowadays. They are few & far between but do untold damage with their flying legs, elbows or wind-milling fists. If you ever see someone behaving in this fashion no-one would begrudge you knocking them on their ass.

2 – Barging through the crowd.

Almost No.1 & one of the few times I’ve almost got into a fight at a gig…you’re standing their enjoying your view, sipping your over-priced beer & feeling good then some meathead dragging his mouthy girl behind him just slams into you spilling your beer. Before you can react he is already pushing the next person out of the way.

1 – Taking pictures/filming non-stop.

The worst kind of person you will find at any show no matter the style of music played. The lights go down, the music starts, you look expectantly towards the stage but can’t see shit except a sea of cameras, phones & now in some cases, iPads.

Why? So they can playback grainy & shaky footage later, so they can upload it to YouTube & feel briefly important. I don’t begrudge someone taking a picture here & there, it’s the ones that spend most of the night looking through a lense to the detriment of those behind. Take a pic & put your phone away afterwards.

More & more artists are asking fans not to use them & my hope for future is that anyone who does pull one out will feel shame & quickly put it away…fat chance.