Horror Movie Review: Tales of the Creeping Death (2022)

Influenced by the Hammer and Amicus horror anthologies of 60s and 70s, writer and director John Williams brings us a distinctly British anthology horror that has its tongue jammed firmly in its cheek.

The wraparound story of this anthology stars Andrew Readman as the eccentric old man, Harold and Michael Socha as the hitman, Goose. Harold has hired Goose, not to take out a target, but to watch over him and ensure he is still alive come 3am. It’s easy money for Goose even if he finds having to spend time with Harold unbearable.

To help pass the time, Harold shows Goose a scrapbook he has made. Filled with newspaper headlines you would expect to read on a slow news day. The uninspired headlines aren’t what interest the old man though, it’s the stories, the mystery around the stories. Or rather the mysteries that he chooses to invent.

It is these stories that make up the 4 segments beginning with one that takes place on Halloween.

Billy (Billy Cook) wants to party and party hard but the event he attends isn’t up to scratch. His friends tell him that they know of another party, one that is going to be off the chain, so off they go. Arriving at a stately manor to find themselves at a very formal black tie event.

The group stand out like a sore thumb but the suited and booted attendees don’t seem to mind even as Billy gets drunker and drunker. Of course, all is not what it seems as Billy is going to regret going to this party.

Story wise, this is the strongest of the four segments as it does a good job of creating mystery and tension before paying it off in style. The effects at the end are great but there’s just something a little off about the performances.

That’s not a problem with the second story as Dean Ackerman delivers a great performance as Kev. An affable fellow who loves nothing more than creating events for all the people in his Super Smooth Gang.

This is one that leans more towards the comedy aspect of things but does deliver some dark moments too. It’s also the segment that features the great Ricky Tomlinson in a limited guest spot as Kev’s father.

The third story is probably the worst, aside from some lovely shots of Wales, and sees a group of work colleagues meeting at a rural hotel for a team building exercise. Three, arriving far too early, decide to stop and take a tour of some caves but while inside, an earthquake seems to occur. Arriving back outside, everything seems very quiet, so they head to hotel only to find it deserted.

You can see where this short is going way ahead of time and while it has a decent payoff, it lacks gravitas and is just a bit boring.

The fourth and final story is the goriest of the bunch as it’s a werewolf tale. One that has the beastie running rampant in a bingo hall. There’s nothing special about this segment aside from Darren McAree’s performance as bingo caller, Shane.

Which then brings us back to the wrap-around story, something we’ve been visiting after each segment and viewing Goose get drunker and more frustrated with Harold. Easily the best thing about the entire film, thanks to Andrew Readman and Michael Socha’s chemistry, the payoff is delightfully wicked and ties into one of the segments nicely.

Overall, this is a decent anthology that requires you to see it as tribute to the anthologies of old. The cheesy stories, the hammy dialogue, the silly acting and wild stories are all part of the charm.