Ahh….my first modern 10 things to try/do & I’ve chosen one of the most controversial & disappointing games to come out in the last couple of years.
Duke Nukem Forevers lengthy development is well documented….12 years & many different companies involved. Eventually a product was finally released to an audience that had passed Duke by….it was a let-down by most who played it, me included.
So why have I chosen Duke Forever as my latest 10 things…? Simple….I have just recently finished my insane run of the single player game & everything is fresh in my mind. There are plenty of things you can see or do in Duke Nukem Forever….you just might feel a bit dirty afterwards.
No.10 – Slap those wall boobs!
That’s not weird is it? Well seeing as you can’t slap the boobs of any of the girls in the game the creators say fit to add some alien wall boobs to The Hive level. Walk up to them & you will get an action prompt where Duke will slap all 3 boobs & make a Duke-quip about milk or some other shit. The boobs move like jelly when slapped & look suspiciously fake, it’s very weird.
No.9 – Mini-games as far as the eye can see.
Pinball is but one of the many mini-games our man Duke can play with but it is the most infuriating as the mechanics are just…broke. So should you get sick of hearing Duke say “I’ve got balls of fail” every time you lose you can also play air-hockey, slot machines, video poker & pool. None of which are particular fun but do give you ego boosts.
No.8 – It’s all in the phone.
The phone messages that are left for Duke throughout the game are directly related to an achievement. Listen to all of them & you will get your gamer score but might I suggest you take the time to actually listen to them….it’s a mix of amusing, stupid & pointless messages.
No.7 – Kick Bale’s ass!
So after Duke’s failed stint on a talk show he walks backstage to see this ‘actor’ delivering a tirade of abuse at an unfortunate employee. The rant is very similar to the famous Christian Bale Terminator Salvation rant. You can listen as long as you want but when you are ready you can ‘sort’ him out so to speak – aim for the face.
No.6 – All the things you can do in a strip club!
When you get to the strip club level there are many different things you can do such as watching some porn, strippers, playing with vibrators or collecting popcorn & condoms. All lots of fun naturally & there are bundles of Easter eggs hidden away for the sharp-minded. My favourite thing? Go into the men’s bathroom & in one of the cubicles there is a hole – use it. Afterwards look through it & you will see a man & a woman next door.
No.5 – Those helmets don’t work!
Another thing to see is related to an achievement again! Throughout the game there are 3 hidden helmets that Duke will quip about when seen. The first one is the Halo power armour seen in the picture above. The 2nd is in the Hive level & is from Dead Space, the last is right near the end & relates to Borderlands.
No.4 – Excellently executed.
Sometimes after you’ve shot an enemy a few times they will drop to their knees rather then dying instantly. When they do this get up close & the execute option should be available. You know what to do right? Doing this will also refill your ego meter instantly.
No.3 – Work out time.
Don’t forget to give Duke a royal workout when you arrive at his gym! Using everything will give you ego but when it comes to bench presses make sure you add some more weight to show off!
No.2 – Poo? Really?
Admit it! When you heard that you could play with poo in Duke Nukem Forever you rushed out & bought the game! I know I did….so yeah, you can grab a turd from the toilet & throw it at stuff. Very strange but very realistic….
No.1 – References around every corner.
There are a lot of references in Duke Nukem Forever, from pop culture to other games & movies it seems that Duke & his supporting cast has something to say about everything. Take the twins above…remind you of anyone? Try the Olsen twins. In the strip club there are so many that include a spinning top referring to Inception, the stripper promises you cake (Portal), there is a wrecked strip room that hints to The Hangover movie & should you use a cash machine more then twice it asks to be fed a cat referencing American Psycho. That is but a few, trust me there are bundles!