Horror Movie Review: Splintered (2010)


This is a bad movie that promises nothing & delivers even less.

Enjoy!

So it opens ok with a young girl (Sophie) cowering in fear in her bedroom from a monster that has come into her room. The scene is pretty cool & leaves you wondering…

Fast-forward to present time & Sophie is now a woman who has decided to investigate reports of a mysterious creature that is killing livestock in the British countryside. Yep, you read that right…it’s a British horror!

Camping

Sophie has enlisted some her friends to help her hunt the beast & they set up camp in the woods for the night. While discussing the beast’s existence Sophie clashes with the meathead boyfriend of her pal who thinks she just needs to get laid. She storms off into the dark woods pursued by another faceless meathead who promptly tries to get her laid. Naturally she knocks him back…

They then stumble across tracks that look like they could have been made by a beast so follow it to an abandoned orphanage. Stuff goes down inside & she ends up trapped in a room while he ends up dead.

Wall

Her captor is a slobbering mess & constantly talks about keeping her safe from ‘him’. It’s supposed to make you think about who ‘him’ must be but the reality is it is either a literal ‘him’ or the dude is suffering from split-personality. The big reveal is way worse.

The next morning, when they haven’t returned, the rest of the party go to look for them with one going back to the car. There he runs into a priest who has come to hunt the beast, he is mysterious & clearly knows more about what is going on.

The big reveal? The crazy dude (Gavin) was blamed for killing a priest when it was actually his brother who was treated badly by said priest. He was made to live with the dogs of the orphanage & became one, sort of. Yep…that’s it.

Dog Gavin

I had thought it was going to be a werewolf movie & was so disappointed that it wasn’t even that. Gavin ends up teaming up with Sophie (believing her to be the Virgin Mary, pure & untouched) to try & get away from the dog-brother and we end up with a whole bundle of chase scenes.

Splintered Gavin

It’s boring with flashes of gore followed by one of the most unnecessary endings I’ve ever seen. While being attacked by dog-man in the woods Sophie’s flashbacks of the monster in her room reveals she was actually abused by her father & that she isn’t pure or untouched (crass, right?) so promptly smashes the shit out of him.

Dead

I won’t lie, that ‘twist’ took me by surprise & really changed the entire tone of the movie I had just watched, it wasn’t needed. The movie is bad & no amount of last minute character development will change that. Also it adds a darker edge to earlier scenes but not in a good way. Had it been something we had known from the start it might have made it a better watch but having it in the final scene just felt wrong.

The acting is ok with Sophie being more than the ‘scared woman’ cliché, Gavin also comes across sympathetic. Some clunky & awkward dialogue takes you out of the movie at times (particularly the camp fire scene) but the biggest crime is always going to be that it is boring.

Splintered Girl

British horror movies…*shudder*. This is happening far too often now.

The abuse ’twist’ was an awful idea meant to shock the viewer but instead leaves you feeling confused & uncomfortable. Characters are un-memorable & the dog-man thing was no-where as interesting as the writers may have thought. Stay away…

Splintered
  • 2/10
    The Final Score - 2/10
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