Album Review: Cane Hill – Smile (Rise Records)


The year is 2016….Blink 182 have had a number one album on both sides of the Atlantic, Good Charlotte have a new album, Stuck Mojo are flying (well more like shitting all over it) the flag for rap metal and now we have Cane Hill releasing an album that isn’t just a throwback to the nu-metal days, it’s a freakin’ nu-metal album that unashamedly rips off everything from that era.

If you want shitty sounding songs that rip off Korn, Marilyn Manson and Slipknot with the childishness of Limp Bizkit then you’re going to love this. The rest of us? Strap yourself in, shit is about to get really bad.

Nu-metal has a lot of nostalgic value but it has no place in 2016. It’s incredible just how much this album rips off, (The New) Jesus desperately wants to be Marilyn Manson’s (mob)Scene with its cutesy vocal chorus but it’s just such a poor imitation.

The entire album is filled with lacklustre riffs & industrial effects that are lost in the mix. I don’t like how this album sounds, the vocals are at the forefront yet they lack in every department. It’s not helped by the attempts to channel Jonathan Davis of Korn in songs like True Love, St. Veronica & Screwtape. Seriously it’s bad, the singer (Elijah Witt) even has the wavering thing that Davis does, it’s embarrassing.

As if hearing my thoughts and ignoring them completely, Cane Hill up the embarrassment factor with the song, Cream Pie…because they’re presuming their listeners are all pre-teen boys. It’s not even an ironic title as it’s layered with female sex noises throughout. It’s the kind of song that makes you ashamed to be a metal fan, if this is the sort of shite that is being regarded as the next big thing (not my words, check out some of our metal/rock publications) we are well & truly fucked.

“It’s only dirty if you make it”

10 songs long…it feels like double that as track after track continues to follow the same boring blue-print. A total lack of exciting music, there is nothing that stands out as anything but generic.

Overall Track List:

1. Mggda
2. (The New) Jesus
3. True Love
4. St. Veronica
5. Fountain of Youth
6. Cream Pie
7. You’re So Wonderful
8. Ugly Model Mannequin
9. Screwtape
10. Strange Candy

Am I being cantankerous? Should I be taking Cane Hill’s adolescent rip off album in good fun? See it as a tribute with a mix of Steel Panther’s supposed humour? Maybe, except it’s a bad album, a bad nu-metal album that serves as a glorious reminder of why the genre is one of nostalgia only.

Cane Hill - Smile (Rise Records)
  • 2/10
    The Final Score - 2/10
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